Sunday, October 5, 2008

Movie Theater Etiquette...

I don't appear to be that great at it. Allow me to explain:
I love the movies. If I'm asked "What would you like to do tonight?" my response will always be (both internally and vocally) THE MOVIES!!! They are the ultimate escape. Even if a movie turns out to be a dud, it still took a lot to get it to the big screen on which you so enjoy it.
Today, I was invited to the movies with my sister-in-law and mother-in-law.
The movie of choice: Nights in Rodanthe. Stop laughing............
When I told my husband that I was going to see it, he said with his eyes rolling,
"Oh my gosh, just the name of that movie makes my stomach hurt!"
He's a guy.
The movie, in case you didn't know, is based on a book of the same name by Nicholas Sparks. It's every bit as much of a chick flick as it sounds. I love the shows on VH1 - I Love the 80's! - and the one where Steel Magnolias is highlighted is great!
Gilbert Gottfried, the comedian, actually says about that movie,
"This movie is so full of estrogen that if you watch it for 10 minutes, you'll grow a vagina!"
I love the fact that I can watch a movie like Steel Magnolias and be brought to sobbing tears everytime - even though I know Shelby dies, the graveside scene where Sally Fields loses it kills me; more so now that I'm a mother. I couldn't imagine watching it and not feeling what the actors/actresses are trying to make me feel. How empty that must be. But, I digress.
This time of year finds me well on my way to a sinus infection anyway, so breathing through my nose wasn't exactly a 'piece of cake'. But, the horrid sounds coming from my nasal cavity throughout the duration of this film were unacceptable to movie-goers everywhere, I'm guessing. You know that sound that you make when you've been crying for a while and you try to inhale through your nose and nothing happens - well, nothing except for that clogged up vacuum hose sound!? You know the one I'm referring to! It was terrible! So, after the first encounter with this noise, I decided it was best to breathe from my mouth. I won't lie...there were a few times I thought I was going to choke to death in the theater.
Another thing about me and shows. Some folks can cry all day and come away without the puffy eyes, red cheeks and fat lips. Not me.'s terrible for my reputation as a hard ass. So, heed the warning about this film now - it had me crying about 20 minutes in. The only movie ever to have gotten me earlier would be P.S. I Love You.
As the credits started rolling, I gathered what I was sure was my composure and we exited the theater. We were joined by 30 or more attendees stopping by the potty to check our make up and overall appearance. So, as we were in line, it became a joke that we were all in rough shape from the tear jerker we just sat through. I'm looking at my SIL and MIL and they don't look too bad. I mean, watery eyes, sure, but they don't look like they've been hit by a truck or anything. So, I made mention that I bet we probably felt worse than we looked and my lovely SIL responded, " look pretty bad."
So, to all those that were in attendance at the 2pm showing of Nights in Rodanthe at the local theater, I apologize. I will bring my humidifier and nose spray next time.


Briana said...

Unbelievable movie!!! Thank you for movie day, even if it was a little embarassing hearing the snot sounds coming from my immediate right. I've just perfected my crying over time... I can do it without anyone noticing... :)

martinstone said...

cry baby! Just kidding, I just watched P.S. I Love You, again, and cried, again.

Next time wear on of those weird nose strips, they work for snoring, probably for snorting too!

Jenn said...

I think that's a great idea, Lori! If it would have kept me from sounding like a train wreck, I would have done it!