Saturday, January 10, 2009

Who Knew?

The cows are depleting the ozone. Who knew? I mean, cows have only been on the planet for how many years?
Now, folks want to tax those farmers tending thier herds for....what? What's the motive here? What will the money from the tax on superfluous cows go toward? Will it be earmarked for education? Global warming research funding? Will it go to improve roads? WHAT? I'm just not buying the fact that it's all to save the world. Sorry.
This seems so absurd to me. I mean, these farmers are making a living providing the public with the items they need to have strong healthy bones and teeth. Holy cow!!!! How is this going to affect the "Got Milk" campaigns if the farmers are forced to "off" part of their herd for affordability? I'll tell you how...the price of products derived from moo-cows is going to skyrocket! Milk will go up. Cheese. Butter. Meat. The list goes on, I'm sure. I imagine goats aren't polluting the ozone with their gaseous nature, so we should all switch to goat cheese and milk. Or maybe, someone will come up with a milk product that looks, tastes and drinks like milk with the same nutritional value that isn't actually milk. Ha! Doubtful.
I wonder how this happens. How does it come that we blame cows and their farts and belches for the depleting ozone? I feel certain we as a people are doing a pretty good job of depleting the ozone on our own. Cows are just defenseless and easy to blame I guess.
It just seems so nonsensical...especially when the world is going to end December 21, 2012 anyway - according to Nostradamus.
(What? If you believe cows are the reason we're all going to die from the ozone opening up then you probably believe that too.)
Me, personally, I'm not sure what to believe about it all. I just know that I'm not buying into the cow theory just yet. I feel certain there are greater factors at risk here and the farmers out there shouldn't be penalized for owning livestock that may be contributing to the deterioration of the Earth's ozone with their flatulence.
Try this theory on for size: There are certainly more people on the planet than cows, right? Therefore, the amount of gaseous effect depleting the ozone would be larger coming from humans than cows, right? So, on your next income tax return don't forget to check the box marked 'Human'. That way, the federal government can hit you with a "Flatulence Tax". They'll probably base it on the size of your household. The more folks in your house, the more gas being emitted from said house. Oh...but wait! For those with acid reflux present in the confines of your home, you'll be taxed additionally for you being more likely to introduce these toxins into the air - due to your condition and all.
I foresee there being some contraption designed that we can wear over our faces (and posteriors) that will catch the erroneous odors emitted and change them into plant thriving elements. (Something like a water filter for your faucet.) There will have to be different designs for animals and humans alike. Maybe, someone else could design cool covers or faceplates to allow you to personalize your very own ozone replenishing mask! I can hear Billy Mays now - "Make your Fart Filter the envy of all your friends with these crazy covers! They'll be saying Wow! Call now and get not one, not two but three covers! One for church, one for work and one for the night on the town with that special someone. And if you call within the next ten minutes, you’ll get a set of our matching covers for your Fart Filter! One for you and one to gift to a friend!”
Crazy! What are your thoughts?

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Wonderfully Written Word...

Oh my I'm a new found reader! Whoo-hoo! I started a book club - online at - and we've only had one meeting....but I have plans to change the way we were going to do it. Here's my new philosophy on the thing: You come to the meetings, if you're in the vicinity and you bring along a book with you. It should be a book that you're okay parting with. In exchange, you will take home a book that someone else brings to swap. I have also joined SwapTree, which is what gave me the idea for changing the way we do it! This way, everyone takes home a book that haven't read!! Whatta ya think? Neat, huh? Additionally, I'm interested in feedback on what works best for everyone as far as meeting dates, times, etc. Anyway, I'm hoping to beef up our member list and get lots of books! Some of the one's I've read recently are A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, Marley and Me by John Grogan and Among the Heroes - The Passengers and Crew of Flight 93 by Jere Longman. I recommend them all for good reads and I have a drawer full of books waiting on I better get busy!

Pocket Change...

I've written about change on more than one occasion on my blog. Shoot, probably more than ten occasions. I'm okay with change. "It suits me just fine - in fact, it's my idea of heaven!" (Name the movie that line is from. Bonus points if you can name the actor or actress being quoted!) I took steps to make another change in my life today. I turned in my two week notice with my employers to mixed reviews. I'm optimistic about my decision and I feel, deep down (in the gut), that I'm making the right decision for me, my family and my future. Why? Because it's an opportunity to learn something new. I might fall flat on my face...but at least I'll have learned soemthing in the process. And who knows about the interesting folk I might meet on the way, huh? How can one not be excited!? So, in two weeks, I'll be headed down a different road, in a different city with a different role to play and I can't wait! I've been with my current employer for eight years (minus a brief stint as a bank teller that could not have ended sooner) and I've learned so much in that time. I have grown up a lot in those eight years there and I feel lucky to have been given the opportunities I have. My only rant here is....why are folks so gossipy? I mean, if you've already heard from somewhere else that I've taken another job, don't pretend you haven't. Especially if you're not a good liar. I mean, c'mon! What's it to ya? Anyway, here's to change and all it inspires us to be!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Idle Time....

Happy New Year everybody!
Whew.....2009 blew in like a blustery day! I can't believe it's already here. My resolution: to not blink and miss '09 like I feel like I did '08. seems like just the other day we were in Disney World...and that was Summer of 2007. I don't know how it happens, but Father Time is always zipping past me!
Seriously, as for resolutions, I learned not to make 'em. Saves me the disappointment. As I take a look back at New Year's for 2008 I see what all I didn't get done that I had secretly hoped to do and I'm a bit disappointed. (I didn't learn Spanish fluently.) But there is always 2009. What I did love about 2008 was the number of challenges I faced head on. I may not have succeeded by "industry standards" but I learned so much experiencing it all.
My main objective here is to get back into the swing of things on this blog! From my (way too nice to me) loyal readers, I'm getting hate mail about my absence. While not an excuse, I'd like to mention that there have been a lot of things up in the air on my end. I vow, here and now, to do better.
Lastly, before I dive back into my book, I'd like to draw your attention to a new blog I'm following. Check out Weather Droppings for your complete guide to local weather going on in NE Alabama.