Amy Elaine Edwards (1976-2009)

EDWARDS Anniston - Memorial services for Amy Elaine Edwards, 32, will be 2 p.m. Thursday, June 25, 2009, with Rev. Dwayne Borders officiating at Chapel Hill Funeral Home Chapel. The family will receive friends one hour prior to the service. Ms. Edwards passed away Sunday, June 21, 2009. Ms. Edwards is survived by her mother and stepfather, Helen and Terry Scott; sister, Wendy Blissett and children, Savannah, Ellis and Embry. She was preceded in death by her father, Eugene Edwards. Ms. Edwards was a native of Calhoun County who lived in the Saks area. She attended Jacksonville State University majoring in English and the Arts. Chapel Hill Funeral Home will be servicing the Edwards family 256-820-5151

A Fond Farewell

Today is Father's Day. Happy Father's Day to the daddy's out there! I did a fair bit of planning for this year's special day for the father of my children and I'm happy to report that all went well. A day on the lake in a pontoon is good for everyone's soul!

This day has never really had a lot of meaning for me - being as I grew up without a daddy in my life - but it's all the more important that my children understand the importance of it. As my children celebrate this day each year with their daddy, I hope they are grateful for a guy that is so in love with the two of them! That's not to say that my daddy didn't love me, but his non-presence has certainly left me with several bags by the door...if you catch my drift!

I'm always in awe - and if I'm being honest, often jealous - of the relationship between my daughter and her daddy. It's one that I find foreign and unrelatable. I'm delighted that she knows that relationship all the while pining for a daddy's comfort that I was never privy to nor will I ever have. I struggle to understand the dynamic that is ‘daddy and daughter’!

I have several friends that are having a tough time this father's day adjusting to life without their daddy's. I'm so sad for the loss that they feel and that I'll never quite understand. It's not comparable to the loss of a friend, pet or any other loved one. It's different. While I have experienced losing my father, I never knew him as my daddy. Therefore, this was just a passing in my family to adjust to and go on about my life with. This too, makes me sad.

Today, I was delivered the unfortunate news that my cousin (pictured above - as I like to recall her best) was killed in a car accident early this morning. I wasn't close to her; I had seen her recently. What makes my heart ache for this accident - aside from the unimaginable feeling her mother had to endure in hearing that her daughter was killed - is her life.

Growing up, this girl was everything I wanted to be. I idolized her - inasmuch as you can someone 4 years older than you. I would go out of my way to make sure I was around her. She fascinated me on so many levels. She was gorgeous, outgoing, edgy and pleasant. She had her wild side, but my mom and hers did their fair share of shielding me from that...so as not to taint my perception of her, I'm sure.

I remember staying with her for a few days and she taught me how to feed, saddle and ride a horse. I recall her dressing me up in the most insanely cool clothes, make-up and accessories during this particular stay. I was probably around 8 years old. I still have pictures she took of me once I was all dolled up! (I'll have to dig those up!)

I remember the first time I bumped into her in our high school. I was in the 8th grade and she was a senior. I remember her saying, as we passed each other in the hallway, "Jenny! I can't believe you're in high school now! I am just beside myself!" 'Beside myself'...that was pretty cool! I remember laying next to her in her room while she was studying and straining to read the information in her chemistry book. I would grow tired of trying to understand all that information and I would jump to her yearbook. I can remember running my hands over the signatures and summer well-wishes in that book and longing for a time when I was like her.

I remember when she announced to everyone that she was going to play football. We all thought she was insane...football! She went out for the team. They allowed her to go through spring practice with them. I remember the bruises. They were bad. Who does that? I remember thinking...God, she's crazy and wonderful all at the same time!

When I was 5 years old, I remember her running through our grandmother's house with me on her back. She was tossing me onto pillows in the back bedroom of the house. The last time she did, I bounced from the pillow and hit my face on the window sill. As I came up from wall with the blinding pain in my lip, I hadn't quite processed the sequence of events. All four of my top teeth were now either on the floor or dangling from my gums! She was staring at me with a look of horror. I put my hand to my mouth and saw blood and that's when the terror struck! I remember that night like it was yesterday. My mom rushed me to the hospital where my pediatrician (who is my children's pediatrician today) jerked me from my mother's arms and whisked me away to assess the damage. Imagine a 5 year old with a face covered in blood. There were no questions asked...it was a matter of figuring out what the hell happened!!! After a long evening in the ER, I told my mom that I would like to go by and show Amy so she would know I was okay. She was at her friend, Lori Howell's house and I remember her coming out to the car and I smiled my toothless grin to her! Even then, at that young age, I didn't want her to think I was upset with her.

Later on, she would find herself in a bit of trouble. She'd been in a car accident in Auburn (where I would soon find myself stomping around) and was in the hospital. The details of the accident as well as the other parties involved were about as bad as it could get. I remember my mom and I traveling down to the hospital to visit her and when we arrived, the nurses went to tell her we were there. She informed them that she didn't want to see us. I was confused, devastated and, if I'm honest, a little pissed off. I mean, we drove all the way down to see her. But, my young, teenage mind couldn't have comprehended the massive trauma (both physical and emotional) that she was dealing with at that time.

Her father (my uncle) left this world a few years back. She was unable to attend the funeral due to the fact that she was in prison. I remember her voice on the phone to her daddy and how heart wrenching it was. I remember the letter her sister read at the funeral that she had written. I remember how well versed she was in that letter and how impressed I was by her then. Even though she was in prison, I was still her biggest fan. Wow...that's amazing to me.

Her life has been no picnic. She's made some rough decisions. Decisions I don't agree with now and didn't know to disagree with then. She was my girl...the one that could do no wrong! I took heart in the fact that she adored me and I absolutely loved her!

And now she's gone. Some would say that she's at peace now. If I look back now, her life did seem to be this wrecking ball at times. She always seemed to be heading somewhere too quickly or hurriedly. She was a force to be reckoned with and for that I adored her! So, the life she lived, however tragic it may have seemed to some, was filled with nothing but adoration from me for quite some time. She was an original and my heart aches for her that she may never have felt as though she found her place.

Rest, sweet child. You're right where you can feel safe. You're with your daddy today.

(Your earthly one and your eternal one.)

Amy Edwards

1976-2009

Learnin' from kids - Part II

I thoroughly enjoy nights like tonight.

After supper, it was decided that ice cream was in order. So, it's off to Sonic for some frozen treats.

On the way home we were canvassing some lesser travelled roads and telling the kids that they were haunted. You know the drill: going over a bridge you turn the lights off and tell them that you might hear screams, etc. So, once we'd moved on, the discussion turned into the fact that ghosts weren't real. Hallie inquired about aliens.

Hallie: "What about aliens, Hayden? Are they real?"

Hayden: "Yeah, they're real. But, they only live on Uranus."

..............An established silence before the two grown-ups in the car started snickering...............

Hayden: "What are you laughing at? They do live on Uranus!! ALIENS LIVE ON URANUS!!!!"

.............Laughing louder...............

Hayden: "It's the seventh planet."

I swear...he never amazes me at how smart he is. I had to go through the helpful sentence (My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas) before I knew it was the seventh planet! But, that's not saying much, is it? After all, he did stump me with that Blasobian bit last year.

I still can't believe we were both reduced to laughter by something so juvenile.

I mean, geez...it's not like someone pooted.

29 Down...and Many More to Go!

Today is my 29th birthday! It's hard to believe...mainly because of all that has taken place in that time. I look at my two precious angels (7 and 4 years old) and try to imagine their 29th birthdays...and it's going to be here before I know it. The past few months since I've blogged have been quite a ride...but that's not my excuse for not blogging. I admit that I forgot my login and password and just never got around to figuring it out until a few days ago. Now that I have it, I'll be back on the blogging bandwagon, I suppose! There's much to tell, that's for sure! But, for today, I'll simply leave it at this: birthdays, after a certain point, don't bear a whole lot of excitement. I make a huge deal out of my kids' parties...more than some would, I suppose...but you only get excited about them for a short period (maybe only a 1/4 of your lifespan) so you better live 'em up, right!? But, over the past few months I've had my share of humbling experiences. My best friend's daughter has leukemia...every birthday to her (and her family and friends) is like the breath of life. A local name here, Megan Brittain, died this past week. She was a bright, vibrant, beautiful 12 year old girl that died from a form of Cancer. Her mother died only six months prior to her diagnoses..also from Cancer. That family knows all to well the importance of birthdays and what they represent. A young woman was in a car accident the other day and is now in critical condition with the possibility that she won't make it...won't make it home to her family! That seems so inconceivable! I don't mean to rain on the birthday parade, but just a little bit of info. to let you in on a little secret - I don't take my days for granted anymore! They aren't guaranteed to me for any specific length of time, so I'm choosing to spend them more wisely, more humbly, EVEN MORE HONESTLY and FREE of any undo stress that should arise! It's good to be back in the blogging world...see you soon!

Seasons of Change...

It's been a while since I've posted. No reason in particular other than trying to keep up with everyday life. What's been going on with me? Well...where should I start? We're really looking forward to Turkey Day at our house! We get to travel to Atlanta to celebrate at Uncle Derek's house! It's always good to go visit them and the kids absolutely love their cousins Nick and Chris! They are just too cool for school!

I'm crazy addicted to this Swaptree site! It's a sickness...for real! I'm mailing books and getting books at least once a week and it's awesome! I wonder if it will be a fad that will fade like MySpace was for me. We'll see.

I'm trying really hard (and doing pretty good) to remember to take my new Thyroid medicine the Dr. put me on. I have noticed a difference, so that's good. Are you officially 'gettin' on up in the years' when you have to start taking maintenance medication? Oh well...like it matters. Better now than when it's too late.

The kids and I are reading Harry Potter. We read a chapter each night and Hallie is loving it! She's way more into it than Hayden, but he'll come around. The first book is a struggle to get through anyway, but you gotta read it to know what's going on! The two of them amaze me everyday with their knowledge! (Hayden did manage to stump me with some math...but that's for a different blog. I'll try to get that one up tomorrow or the day after!)

We have four puppies left from Jacee's litter! They are adorable! I have three black girls and one black boy left. Any takers? They're cuties! So sweet, huge paws and short hair like a lab. The daddy dog is quite a story too...I'll elaborate more in another blog.

And today, I went through the roughest day at work I've ever had. We went through some layoffs at work this afternoon and when I tell you it was hard, I'm not even scratching the surface on describing it. It was heart wrenching to watch your friends and co-workers pack up their stuff, walk out and know that they won't be back tomorrow. I was lucky to not be among them, but I'm one of the many left behind to make sense of it all. It's hard not to question management in situations like this because you don't have all the pieces to the puzzle. You might think you could have done a better job at this or handled things more professionally or in a better manner, but no matter how you deliver it....it's still the same bad news. I struggle like anyone else to make sense of the decisions, but I hope for everyone's sake that they were decisions made that will benefit everyone in the long run. I'm hopeful that the company will learn to be more efficient through this; I'm confident that some of these folks got a kick start into retirement and perhaps they'll learn how to relax all over again; I'm optimistic that a situation like this can throttle people into something they might never have tried otherwise; and I'm also painfully aware of the economy and how much worry and stress everyone of those individuals is feeling. I feel sad that they're gone...very sad. But, what is life if not a roller coaster, right?

Movie Theater Etiquette...

I don't appear to be that great at it. Allow me to explain:

I love the movies. If I'm asked "What would you like to do tonight?" my response will always be (both internally and vocally) THE MOVIES!!! They are the ultimate escape. Even if a movie turns out to be a dud, it still took a lot to get it to the big screen on which you so enjoy it.

Today, I was invited to the movies with my sister-in-law and mother-in-law.

The movie of choice: Nights in Rodanthe. Stop laughing............

When I told my husband that I was going to see it, he said with his eyes rolling,

"Oh my gosh, just the name of that movie makes my stomach hurt!"

He's a guy.

The movie, in case you didn't know, is based on a book of the same name by Nicholas Sparks. It's every bit as much of a chick flick as it sounds. I love the shows on VH1 - I Love the 80's! - and the one where Steel Magnolias is highlighted is great!

Gilbert Gottfried, the comedian, actually says about that movie,

"This movie is so full of estrogen that if you watch it for 10 minutes, you'll grow a vagina!"

I love the fact that I can watch a movie like Steel Magnolias and be brought to sobbing tears everytime - even though I know Shelby dies, the graveside scene where Sally Fields loses it kills me; more so now that I'm a mother. I couldn't imagine watching it and not feeling what the actors/actresses are trying to make me feel. How empty that must be. But, I digress.

This time of year finds me well on my way to a sinus infection anyway, so breathing through my nose wasn't exactly a 'piece of cake'. But, the horrid sounds coming from my nasal cavity throughout the duration of this film were unacceptable to movie-goers everywhere, I'm guessing. You know that sound that you make when you've been crying for a while and you try to inhale through your nose and nothing happens - well, nothing except for that clogged up vacuum hose sound!? You know the one I'm referring to! It was terrible! So, after the first encounter with this noise, I decided it was best to breathe from my mouth. I won't lie...there were a few times I thought I was going to choke to death in the theater.

Another thing about me and crying...it shows. Some folks can cry all day and come away without the puffy eyes, red cheeks and fat lips. Not me. Sigh...it's terrible for my reputation as a hard ass. So, heed the warning about this film now - it had me crying about 20 minutes in. The only movie ever to have gotten me earlier would be P.S. I Love You.

As the credits started rolling, I gathered what I was sure was my composure and we exited the theater. We were joined by 30 or more attendees stopping by the potty to check our make up and overall appearance. So, as we were in line, it became a joke that we were all in rough shape from the tear jerker we just sat through. I'm looking at my SIL and MIL and they don't look too bad. I mean, watery eyes, sure, but they don't look like they've been hit by a truck or anything. So, I made mention that I bet we probably felt worse than we looked and my lovely SIL responded, "Nahhhhh...you look pretty bad."

So, to all those that were in attendance at the 2pm showing of Nights in Rodanthe at the local theater, I apologize. I will bring my humidifier and nose spray next time.

P.S. GREAT MOVIE!

What will your Final Lecture be?

Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon University computer scientist whose "last lecture" about facing terminal cancer became an Internet sensation and a best-selling book, died Friday. He was 47.

I have read this book and I can't even begin to say how much it touched me. (I've already chosen it as the first read for my upcoming book club!) I laughed and cried the whole way through!

I hope you'll all get a copy and let it touch your heart the same way it did mine.

One Creative Mama!

So, in all my years, I had no idea that my mama could sew. Me - can't even sew a button. I knew she was capable of that...but check out this adorable dress she made for Hallie! That's a day well spent with the kids if you ask me! She's taking orders and she'd be glad to make your child one too! (I most likely just signed her up for something she didn't agree to...but isn't that what daughters do!?)

I should add that it's the extra mile she went to make it great! She sewed the edges wear the ribbon goes through the top so that it won't come out and leave you having to fish it through with a safety pin. She added the cutest pocket too!

Great job mom! Hallie loves it! She can't wait to wear it to school tomorrow!

Vacation Wrap Up and other mind-numbing rants!

Well, the vacation went just swell. I fully intended to update daily, but the sand and the sea got the best of me! My apologies! The kids had a blast, we all ate too much and after the long ride home, I got to unpack! Unpacking is like the ultimate torture, right? I would make juvenile delinquents do that...right after I made them fold my laundry...oh, and iron it. Ha! However, I returned to home sweet home to discover that it had not been so sweet during our absence. There's been a lot of crime in the area lately and it leaves me uneasy. You may have read my previous blog about how I was followed in a major discount store and how uncomfortable it made me feel. Well, upon our return, we discover that our cousin was at home with her two daughters when two gentleman came to her house and busted her front door down trying to get in. They were scared off when she screamed...but I can't imagine how terrified she must be right now. It seems like it's everyday that there is somethin on the news or in the paper about another robbery, kidnapping or attack. What is the deal? When we were in FL, there was a story about a two year old little girl that has been missing for five weeks and her mother is a suspect. Her mother! I'm astounded. However, on a brighter note, I did get to read two fabulous books while I was wasting away in Margaritaville. Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner and the follow up to that called Certain Girls. These two books are just wonderful! They'll be perfect for my book club as soon as I get it going! ;) Finally, I attended a Relay for Life Committee Wrap-Up Party tonight. The events were held at the Talladega Superspeedway and it was great! We got to take turns going around the track at 120 miles per hour! It was up there with the neatest things I've done! But, the focus of the evening was for the 'powers that be' within the American Cancer Society to thank the committee that helped raise over $600,000 toward cancer research and funding! It was very nice of them to put it all together and even nicer for them to recoginze the hard work of the members and their families that sacrifice so much to let them be a part of the organization. A few were asked to stand up and give their reasons for why they Relay. I wasn't one of them, but if I had been...here's what I might have said: For my father, whom I didn't know, that passed away with Colon Cancer; For Uncle DeWayne, whose diagnosis hit me like a ton of bricks; For PaPa Sprayberry, who had the greatest outlook right up to the end; For Mike Cooper, who was one of the last great "family men" on Earth; For Kaylie Claire Ellis, who shouldn't even be having to think about chemo and radiation at four years old; But, mostly for selfish reasons...I relay because I get to be a part of something that fills me so completetly with humility and pride that I can't stop coming back. I relay with the hope that my children will never have to think about fighting cancer. I relay because it feels so dang good to know that I'm making a difference...and being on the Committee is only icing on the cake. That's why I do it.

Vacation - Part 2

Today could not have been more perfect if I'd written it that way myself.... The weather was warm, the ocean was calm and clean and I almost finished my book. The kids splashed and played in the Gulf like they've never done before and that was great to see! We rounded out the evening with ribs at Pineapple Willy's and go carts! You can't have vacation in PC without go carts, right?! I'm pretty sure I located the guy with the worst job in the world...he's in charge of the kiddie go carts at the "go cart place" and we were all in agreement that it probably sucked more than anything else in the world...at the time, anyway. Personally, I'm ready for bed...as soon as I finish my book! To be continued...

Vacation - Part 1

Well, we've arrived! Panama City Beach, FL is growing like crazy! We've managed to visit the pool, the beach and the Publix today and that in itself has been wonderful! I want a Publix back home! Our trip down was full of conversation - something I'm not used to because I usually sleep on the way to anywhere! Mom is along for the trip and that is going just swimmingly! I have an ample supply of books to keep me company and I plan to come back tan and refreshed! We ventured down to the beach this evening - Brent, the kids and I - and Hayden went crazy! Hallie buried him in the sand and he returned to "home base" covered in sand! They're sand free now and relaxing to Ratatouille. I'm headed to the chair with my book and my drink... more later!

The Balancing Act

It's tough...huh!? Some days I'm left standing in my kitchen, dust cloud settling around me, wondering how I got there. It's everyday events like shuttling to and from school, ball practices, extracurricular activities, housework/maintenance, pets, laundry and add a job (for those that have one) that keep us in a constant state of motion. I wonder if we actually know what it's like to sit still anymore. Gone are the days where the kids play in the yard while the grown-ups hold their rockers in place on the front porch. Air conditioning may have had a lot to do with that, I guess. What happened to the easy breezy days? Not just during Summer time. Everyday shouldn't be a mad dash to make the next big event in our lives. Life happens around us all the time. How much are we actually missing out on by taking it all on? Everything suffers when we stretch ourselves thin. From relationships to job performance - it all takes a beating. All the more reason to evaluate what we've got on our plates and choose what we can do without. With Summer half gone, I realize that I haven't gotten to enjoy much of it. I haven't been the beneficiary to too much relaxation. What I have tried to enjoy has ended up being something that everyone involved wouldn't have chosen...so I tend to bend to the majority. Nevertheless...make the best of the opportunities you have to enjoy life, your family and yourself. This is our only chance to take it all in and I'm going to try and do just that from now on....in stride! What about you?

Time Flies...

Eight years ago today was a Saturday. I was preparing to make the biggest decision of my life (at the time) right here in my hometown.

I've learned so much about myself since the day I said "I Do". Marriage is an ever-changing animal. There are many factors that make up a marriage and I am constantly amazed by how folks make it work. Everyone's marriage is different. Some share loads of laundry while others don't; some marriages have the woman tending to the babies while others have stay-at-home dads. Of all the things I'll list below that I've learned from my eight years I will say that #1 has to be that you can't compare your marriage to anyone else's - NO MATTER WHAT!

The following are from different scenarios that may or may not have happened in my household during the past eight years.

When in an argument with your spouse (no matter the subject) it is not a good idea to utter the words, "Well, your simple mind just can't comprehend this." Nope. No matter how you say it, it won't end up good. Trust me.

When you're trying to get your point across, be sure you've at least pictured a response before you open your mouth. At least then you'll know what to expect. For instance...If you and your spouse are discussing marriage with somone that isn't (married), saying the following is most likely not throwing down your best card: "What you need to do is just find you the ugliest nice person you can find and settle; that's what I did." (Are those crickets I hear in the background?)

Should your spouse lose something of value that just happens to represent the very sanctity of marriage, it might not be in anyone's best interest to inquire as to whether or not they pawned the item in question. Especially if it's during a frantic search of air conditioning vents and sink drains. Not smart - at all.

I have found that raising children is hard work...but it doesn't come close to raising a marriage. It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and even easier to lose sight of how you got there.

I planned a trip for my significant other and I for a spa getaway this past weekend to celebrate eight years of putting up with each other. After a while you get comfortable. There's something to be said for comfort, I think. I mean, ladies, you can wander around in no make up and rollers in your hair and not worry...cause you're married. Guys, you can.....well, we all know what you do when you get comfy...and not worry, cause you're married. That being said, I think nurturing that "first date" feeling could go a long way.

We were "sight-seeing" around the venue and got off the beaten path a bit. My significant other proceeded to do that thing guys do when they're comfy around you....my eyes rolled. "Now if this were our first date, you wouldn't have done that!", I said. (My point here was that after eight years I hope I still give you that "first date" feeling of nervousness.) "If you're looking for first date antics, you're in the wrong place!", he replied. "That's why you get married - so you can be comfortable!" There's truth in both statements, I think. While the comfortable feeling that comes with it is grand, first date feelings are not overrated! It all takes nurturing and it's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and forget how you got there. You forget who was with you along the way. And sadly, you can forget who you were when you started the journey.

Appreciation is often the first thing to go. I got news for ya'...that ain't good! Keep it out front and use the words, "Thank you! I appreciate that!", as often as you can. We don't think twice about saying something that could hurt the other's feelings...but for some reason we'll go months (or longer) without uttering these words. Think about this...if you're having a party and a guest offers to carry the trash downstairs for you, you wouldn't dare let it happen without a thank you to that person, right? But, on your average Monday evening when supper is going, kids are hollering and dogs are barking it's easy be miffed when your significant other might not think to take it out when it's full. You might ask and they comply...but how easy it is to forget to say "Thanks" when they do. There's the element of expectation there. Don't get me wrong...some expectation is good. But, what if simple thank you's along the way helped make them more frequent. Would that hurt? Not at all. And the beauty of it is that it goes for the guys and dolls!

Learn "I'm sorry". Learn when to insert it into the conversation. Timing is everything. It will only be beneficial to you - I promise.

Make it your goal each day to brighten that person's day somehow. In today's techno savvy world, a "thinking of you" is just a text or email away. Make it happen.

Bottom line...you have to laugh. Everyone else will be, anyway. Life is funny...don't think God sits up there watching documentaries and dramas all day! A little comedy is good for the soul.

Now...go; nurture; act like it's your first date...let me know how it goes!

Happy Birthday, Hayden!

My little man is six years old! May 23, 2002 he made me the happiest person on Earth by making me a mommy! It's the greatest job I've ever had and I couldn't have asked for a better little guy to be mommy to.

As I approached the hospital around 6AM that morning, I was eerily calm. It was as if this was the job I had been waiting for all my life. My labor was mild, didn't last very long and the end result was more than I ever could have hoped for. I can't remember what it was like before I was called mommy...but I'm sure it was boring!

Hayden is my thinker. He's articulate and precise with every move he makes. He wants nothing more than to please others so that they're proud of him and that's exactly what I am! I thank God each day for allowing me the privelege of being mother to such an amazing little guy.

My mom tells me how lucky my kids are to have me as their mommy and my husband for their daddy. In some ways, she's right and I know that.

Truth be told, I'm the lucky one....by far!

The Unsung Heroes!

Leukemia – a word that no mother should ever have to hear. Yet, this Mother’s Day weekend thousands of moms will be dealing with the effects that chemo, steroids and countless other medications have on a little body. And they’ll be most grateful for the day with their angels. I’m amazed at the strength it takes…absolutely amazed. The trials and tribulations that a child with Leukemia goes through are hard to imagine. But, more unimaginable has to be the love of a mother to that child. They have to be the silent warrior for their little one. They have to be the rock of the family. They have to be the one painting the rosy pictures while they quietly fall apart inside. Calhoun County held its 2008 Relay for Life event last night (into this morning) and we were once again able to boast success! We entered into this fundraising year with our sights set on $600,000 going toward Cancer funding and research! As of press time last night, we were sitting at $615,000 with donations still rolling in! I sit in awe of how it all comes together and I love the enthusiasm from all the teams that show up, camp out and raise money non-stop. It truly is a sight to behold! As great as all that is, however, the reason we’re there is for the survivors. The survivors are what it’s all about. To witness countless survivors approach the microphone and rattle off the number of years they have been a survivor is the most moving of experiences. And it drives home the fact that cancer funding and research are winning! Slowly but surely, we’re winning the battle against cancer! My best friends daughter is battling Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia right now and there is nothing easy about it. I was honored to meet so many caregivers to the survivors who were so willing to share their story of how they never expected to hear the words Cancer or Leukemia, yet they mustered the strength to be strong and supportive to those loved ones in need. As a mother myself, my heart goes out to those mommies dealing with these mountainous issues. I hope for them a restful Mother’s Day filled with warm feelings and happy thoughts.

It's the littlest things....

The afternoons during T-ball season can be quite a whirlwind. Today was no different. I picked him up, got home and sent the two of them outside to play while I got dinner ready. I'm a huge advocate of outside. I think the fresh air, sunshine and room to run and scream does them (and me) a lot of good. I'm actually able to get a load of laundry done in the midst of their playing and I'm constantly reminding them that they better be glad the sun is still out....otherwise they wouldn't be able to play out there anyway.

While I was filling my kitchen sink with dishwater, I heard a disturbing sound from the outdoors. It wasn't terror, mind you, just disturbing. Anytime they're outdoors, it opens my mind up to endless possibilities as to what may or may not be happening. Is it the dog jumping all over them; bike crash, maybe; sibling antics, perhaps? The guessing is the beauty of it all, I'm sure. No, the noise turned out to be Hallie. I went to the laundry room and peeked out into the driveway...and this is what I saw:

I'm so proud that they remembered to put a helmet on her that I can't be mad!

Here's to the littlest things!

Ahoy!

What's your most desired profession?

What I mean by that is....what would you like to do (either for a living or not) for the rest of your life if you had no other obligations? No kids to worry with. No significant other to depend on you. No pets to tend to. No strings, whatsoever. What would you do?

Maybe you'd stay right where you are doing exactly what you're doing. If that's the case, I applaud you for doing what you MUST love. For me...that's not the case. I was thinking about this today as I was on my way home from the birthday party of a friends child. My IPOD was on shuffle and several Jimmy Buffett songs were played in a row. It got me thinking...if I could sever ties with my community, house, schools, work, etc. I'm almost certain that I'd like to travel the world by sea. Essentially, It'd be a pirates life for me! Don't laugh...not a pilfering one, I'd be nice. But, to have a life that is free from worry or want....to wander the seas aimlessly....to take in more sunrises and sunsets than my eyes care to see.....to drink myself silly on Captain Morgan's Rum.....what a wonderful experience. I imagine a life of sea salt and spray; a life that is completely uninhibited and lead only by impulse and desire. Where do I want to go today? What do I want to do today? Who do I want to be around today? What would I like to eat today?

All that and I haven't even touched on the amazement found in scouring the many islands in search of the greatest places to eat and dives to visit. Can you just imagine? Close your eyes and think about the adventures at sea that would await! It entices me more and more every time I think about it!

Then, my wonderful kids laughing upstairs remind me that I'm tethered to this role...for now. I'm a landlubber, like it or not! At least until they head off to college. Do you think they'll be embarrassed to introduce me to their friends?

"Hi John...this is my mom, Lola...Capt. of the Hemisphere Dancer." (Several Jimmy references)

Neveryoumind...it's not like I'd give a hoot at that point, right?!

Oh well, there's always retirement. May your seas be calm and your rum plentiful!

Speechless...it's not good for me.

What do you say?

Two weeks ago she was so excited. Two weeks ago she was on cloud 9! Two weeks ago she was so full of hope.

One week ago she was eating for two when she wasn't nauseated. One week ago she was dealing with big(ger) boobs! One week ago she was tired, but glowing.

Three days ago she was crying. Three days ago she was put to sleep. Three days ago she had her hopes stomped on...again.

Today she is tired. Today she is empty! Today she is sad...

....and I don't know what to say to her.

There are the same old words she's probably hearing from everyone - "It's in God's hands", It's going to get better...just wait", It's better that it happened now rather than later", "It just wasn't meant to be". Or maybe those are just some of the off-colored comments that I've heard. I'm often appalled at the type things that fall out of people's mouths during a time like this. I say fall, because I have to believe they are accidental. I just have to.

My heart aches for her. And I don't dare forget her husband who's been along for this journey the entire time. What a journey it's been, too. They're two of the most precious people I know who deserve nothing more than happiness...in whatever form they choose to desire it. I struggle with understanding why myself...and I'm not even the one directly affected.

Nevertheless, I will push forward. I will do my best to let her know that I'm here - for whatever. I will make sure she knows where I am. My efforts will be limitless. I will be a friend because I can think of nothing else to do or anything else she needs more from me than that.

Take a deep breath, Lori. I'm here if you need me.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder...

Pardon the recent absence. I was much needed on the homefront! It's good to take time to check back in with the family and all that goes on. It can get pretty hectic pretty fast. It'll knock you on your ass if you're not careful! But, I'm glad to be back. During my brief hiatus I learned a few things. I'm a big proponent that you learn something new everyday. Seriously...everyday. It may or may not be anything substantial or worth writing home about, but it's new.

1. I learned that a good friend of mine, Lori, is pregnant. This wouldn't be such overwhelmingly amazing news if it weren't for all she and her husband have gone through to get to this point. She's not too far along...only a couple of weeks probably...and she's already glowing! They're about to experience one of life's greatest miracles and I'm so excited for them!
2. My best friend Kristin just lost her daddy, Mike Cooper, to Cancer. He fought a hard fight and gave it all he could for as long as he could. The best part - he found his peace before he left this world. Read the story of how it all happened...and I suggest you get a tissue or three!
3. I learned (as I have before and will continue to do) that relationships are hard. Whether you're talking about a marriage, a best friend, a parent/child or work related, balancing the art can be tough. It takes lots of hard work, mountains of patience and understanding.
4. I was reminded of how much vacation is necessary. I'm working with a pretty tough deadline at work right now and I'm so looking forward to getting out of town and not worrying about a thing!
5. I re-learned (cause it wasn't like I didn't know!) that I have fabulous neighbors! Seriously...I'll put them up against anyone's. They're just as much fun partying as they are sitting in the driveway putting together patio furniture, or hanging out on the deck in the afternoon. "Home" is so much better with great neighbors!!
6. I learned that I have to take a break sometimes and re-group. Maybe it's just a book and a bath...but a re-group is necessary! It's easy to get caught up in making sure everyone else around you is taken care of. Easy, but not always healthy. Make time to tend to you - you're just as important!
7. I learned, unfortunately, that "Rock of Love" with Bret Michaels is quite possibly the most ridiculous thing ever to grace the small screen...yet I can't make myself change the channel. What a joke...yet I'm mesmerized!
8. I learned/realized that I haven't had my hair cut (not even trimmed) since November 2007 (over four months if you're counting) and that's way too long. I've got to make that a priority this week!
9. I was reminded that if you want something, it might just be as easy as asking. I tend to overthink/overanalyze situations until I end up making them more complicated than they ever started out being. All you have to do is ask.
10. I learned that hard work can payoff from time to time. You can work hard, save your money (or not), make at least semi-smart decisions and then.....you can reward yourself. And you should! You've only got one shot at enjoying this life....you should certainly be willing to take some chances along the way!
11. Finally...I've been reminded that my kids aren't standing still. I have a picture on my mantle of each of them and I was saying something the other day about how I needed to update the pics within each frame. It dawned on me that I was having trouble remembering my little girl that little. In the picture she's about a year old and it seems like eons ago! Add insult to injury by realizing that I'm only about a head and some change taller than my little man and you've got yourself a 'sobfest'.

All in all, the "break from the blog" was beneficial. I missed it, though. It's a great release to be able to tap, tap, tap my way into relaxation. I'm flattered that so many even give a rat's "you-know-what" about anything I have to say...but if you go away laughing I've done my part! So, I'm back on track...and thanks for reading! There's some funny stuff coming up soon!

Return to reality!

Vacation has come and gone. Now comes the crappy part - unpacking. Everyone had fun! The aquarium may very well have been the highlight of the trip. Not only did the kids enjoy it, we did too!

If you've never had the pleasure of visiting Ripley's Aquarium in Gatlinburg, TN....you should! Soon! It's really cool. A little on the pricey side, but you get your $$ worth and you'll agree once inside. From petting Sting Ray's to the moving walkway that carries you "inside" the tank...it's a great ride!

(That's "Bruce" in the tank at the aquarium - a little eerie to have him swimming overhead, if I'm being honest. I was reminded of the scene in JAWS...yikes!)

In addition to the aquarium, the pool at our hotel was of high interest to the kids! Ober Gatlinburg didn't offer them much other than a cool ride up and back down. Next year, perhaps they'll be more interested in the ice skating (and manmade snow)!

I'm pretty sure I know every word to The Incredibles, Snow Buddies and All Dogs Go To Heaven and I discovered the following: if necessary, I can sit in my backseat for long periods of time....I love my seat warmers....sometimes kids surprise you with their good behavior.....walking is good for you - it won't kill you and dessert is fabulous - always have dessert!

I will say this...and all parties in attendance agreed...the only way to go to Gatlinburg is in a cabin. That's the way we've always done it in the past, but schedule's wouldn't allow for others to come along this time, so we opted to snag a hotel room instead. It just wasn't the same. You just don't get the same 'mountainous' feeling in a hotel room - even if you are in the mountains.

All in all...good food, good company, good attractions and good attitudes made for a great trip! Now I'm off to unpack - ughhhhhh! The reality of being back at home sets in hard.