Straight out of the Honesty Pod!

You gotta appreciate the honesty, right!?

And just so you know...the honesty pod consists of Moira, my podmate, and myself at work. We're brutally honest. It's just who we are. If you don't like it, don't enter the pod. No hard feelings...just the God's honest truth!

Blog Buffet - indulge yourself!

February 2008 is just about over...how quickly time flies, huh? I thought I'd recap a couple of interesting things that were thrown at me today...just in time to call February D-O-N-E!

• I came upon this little ditty from one of my favorite blogs, List of the Day. Quite ironic that it goes hand in hand with my blog from yesterday!

• My little boy came downstairs this morning - bright eyed & bushy tailed - and told me, as I lay in the bed lookin' ruff, I'm sure that I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen! Then he held my arm and told me it was warm. He said it reminded him of pancakes. I'm so happy to be the best looking, most like pancake mom he's ever seen!

• "Wham! 30" happens in my pod at work everyday at 4:30pm. I was astonished to discover today that two charming, yet sheltered, individuals were not aware of who Wham! actually was. I'll save you the script of adjectives I used to describe their tortured selves and tell you that they left with a better understanding! "Wham! 30" Forever, baby! Whoo-hooo!

• My husband is into plants, as you may have read before. He's in the process of getting his tomatoes ready to go in the ground. No, it's not time yet...but he's growing his from seed. He's been catching some flak from some folks for doing it this way. He mentioned that he was going to grow them from seed just to spite the naysayers. "Like you", he said. I reminded him that I never said he couldn't grow them. I just don't understand the purpose in doing it this way. Tomato plants are very inexpensive at the nursery and your odds are better that they'll be a hearty, stable plant once placed in the ground. His response: "That's like going to the mall to get a baby! You don't have the same attachment or love for the plant!" I had nothing else to say. Here's to voluminous production of acidic fruits in our garden and yours this year!

The Heat Is On!

For those that live around here, you already know I'm not talking about the weather in Alabama. Will the cold weather ever end?

No, I'm talking about arguments. No one enjoys them. No one ever leaves feeling validated...at least not that I'm aware of. But, they're bound to happen from time to time. Not much you can do about 'em.

I did stumble upon some interesting tactics to take into battle at Men's Health on How to Fight With a Woman. They're geared toward the guys, of course. But, let's face it, they need them more than we do. Take a peek! Got any better tactics to offer?

Look What the Cat....errrr....Dog Dragged In!

WARNING!!!!!!! GRAPHIC PHOTOGRAPHY FOLLOWS!!! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!

As most fellow petowners can attest....you get some interesting "presents" from the four legged, furry friends. My pet is no different. The picture speaks for itself, I think.

So.....that's it. I had a cat once and I was often given chipmunks, squirrels, mice, etc. But, I've been given a deer leg. I thought, at first glance, "Wow! Jacee actually caught a deer!? That's crazy!" But, I'm pretty sure that I'm neighborly with a hunter. Perhaps that hunter just isn't so thorough in their cleaning process.

Regardless, just another day in the life of having pets, right? Anyone got anything to top a deer leg?

Return to reality!

Vacation has come and gone. Now comes the crappy part - unpacking. Everyone had fun! The aquarium may very well have been the highlight of the trip. Not only did the kids enjoy it, we did too!

If you've never had the pleasure of visiting Ripley's Aquarium in Gatlinburg, TN....you should! Soon! It's really cool. A little on the pricey side, but you get your $$ worth and you'll agree once inside. From petting Sting Ray's to the moving walkway that carries you "inside" the tank...it's a great ride!

(That's "Bruce" in the tank at the aquarium - a little eerie to have him swimming overhead, if I'm being honest. I was reminded of the scene in JAWS...yikes!)

In addition to the aquarium, the pool at our hotel was of high interest to the kids! Ober Gatlinburg didn't offer them much other than a cool ride up and back down. Next year, perhaps they'll be more interested in the ice skating (and manmade snow)!

I'm pretty sure I know every word to The Incredibles, Snow Buddies and All Dogs Go To Heaven and I discovered the following: if necessary, I can sit in my backseat for long periods of time....I love my seat warmers....sometimes kids surprise you with their good behavior.....walking is good for you - it won't kill you and dessert is fabulous - always have dessert!

I will say this...and all parties in attendance agreed...the only way to go to Gatlinburg is in a cabin. That's the way we've always done it in the past, but schedule's wouldn't allow for others to come along this time, so we opted to snag a hotel room instead. It just wasn't the same. You just don't get the same 'mountainous' feeling in a hotel room - even if you are in the mountains.

All in all...good food, good company, good attractions and good attitudes made for a great trip! Now I'm off to unpack - ughhhhhh! The reality of being back at home sets in hard.

Road Trip!!!!!

The family and I are headed for a mini-vacation tomorrow! Gatlinburg is our destination. I'm looking forward to the aquarium....the kids are going to get a kick out of that. Honestly, I probably will too! I loved the aquarium in Chattanooga!

The ice skating should be fun for them too....especially now that they're old enough to give it a shot. I love Gatlinburg in the winter - and I hear they're callling for snow while we're there. That will make it even better! I remember how excited the kids were with the little bit of snow we got here in Alabama last month...and that was nothing!

My gripe has to be that I haven't packed anything. I'm a "pack the car the night before" kind of gal...and I don't have it done this time! Granted, I've been busy lately. But, this just means that I'm going to be up doing it tonight when I should be enjoying some much needed rest. Why? Because I won't be able to close these big brown eyes until I know I'm at least half way there. There is something so peaceful about knowing that all you have to do is get ready in the morning....but something is telling me that tomorrow morning won't be that relaxing. Sigh...I'll do my best to achieve premature packing, but I'm also a realist. It's 10:30 pm and I haven't even gotten our suticase down. Odds are against me, ladies and gents.

But, the pitcher of margaritas at the mexican joint this evening hashelped me be OK with the fact that tomorrow might be a bit hurried. Tomorrow morning I might be singing a different tune when I get that overwhelming feeling of not having all my ducks in a row. But, for now, I think I'm just going to call it a night. We'll get there tomorrow - one way or another - and if we forget something, I guess we'll just buy it!

Who am I kidding....that would drive me crazy! Until my return, I wish you a happy weekend! See you Monday!

Put Me In Coach!

That time of year is just around the corner! When you rush at break neck speed from work to pick up your little critters and cart them to their respective "after-school activities". It's time to gear up for fast food dinners on the run and fun times watching kids pick clovers in the outfield. Which brings me to my reason for this blog...Hayden's T-Ball pictures are back! Yep...and only about 10 months after they were made. Not bad, eh? Sigh....Ugh!!!!(and many other distraught, annoyed words) It absolutely disgusts me that people can be so unorganized! How is this possible? I really can't understand it! If organization is not your strong suit...or you simply can't handle the task of getting pictures to parents after they arrive....say, 'no thank you'. Step up and say, "That's not my strong suit...I'd rather be in charge of snacks." There is nothing wrong with that. Snacks are important - just ask the kids. That was always so funny to me last year. The kids would be into the game for about the first 7 minutes. After that it was, "Can we eat snack yet?" or "Who brought snacks this week?". It's a lot of pressure to bring 'cool snacks' too. Last April all participants in my son's athletic organization convened on one location for the photo shoot. That day, of course, was chaos. In defense, there were several teams there and each team had to have a picture in addition to each little players portrait being made. But, come on...it's not that difficult to organize something like that. My frustration comes from the fact that I've been pulled and jerked around as to the whereabouts of the pictures for which I paid $19 for over six months now. I've contacted the athletic organizations director. I've contacted the photographer to see if I could just get one wallet of my little dude in uniform! I didn't want the fancy player cards or anything...just one picture. It has taken an act of Congress nearly, but today my mailbox held a nice surprise. As I lowered the hatch, I found a lone white envelope which held part of my $19 package purchased in the Spring of 2007! I shouldn't have been so excited...because of the time lapsed and all...but I was. And now that the new season is set to kick off in less than a month, I'm ready to step up to the plate. I've thrown my name in the ring to coordinate/organize this 'event' for the organization next year. I might be sorry later, but right now I'm optimistic because I know I will rock at organizing the whole thing! Here's to making T-Ball fun and organized! Who's with me? ;)

Music to my Ears!

I love music! Pretty much all kinds. My favorite tends to be less than favorable to most music fans...not purposefully....just happens that way. I love music that makes me happy! I love music that makes me wanna shake my groove thang! I love dorky music...and I've been known to love a song by an artist that basically 'blows' by all music critic standards. I'm here to say that I'm okay with that! It's okay if you love that kind of music - stand up for yourself and your music! Especially if it makes you smile :) For instance...some of my favorites - and maybe some insight as to why - are (in no particular order):

1. "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" - Wham! I don't care what anyone says about this song. It's awesome! It's probably my favorite 'morning' song. Nothing gets me up and moving like Wham! How can you control yourself from jumping up and down when this song is on? I don't hold back...even if I do look like an idiot on the way to work - snapping and popping my head!
2. "I Can Dream About You" - Dan Hartman This song always makes me dance! Granted, it's not spectacular dancing...but it makes me smile! And really, how many songs are left out there that allow you to showcase your 80's dancing? Not many, I assure you!
3. "Blinded By the Light" - Manfred Mann 'Wrapped up like a deus'....you can't not love this song! One problem - this song makes me drive really fast. That doesn't help me have a happy morning when the nice officer decides to pull me over!
4. "All I Want" - Toad the Wet Sprocket This song just makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I'll be honest that I'm not 100% sure of all the words, but the melody and harmony in the song is enough to keep me playing it!
5. "At Last" - Etta James This song always makes me think I can really sing. It's soulful, crooning and simply exquisite!
6. "Brown Eyed Girl" - Van Morrison Simply because I am one.
7. "California Girls" - The Beach Boys Made famous during my Senior Show in high school. It always makes me want to dance around on stage and head for the beach!
8. "(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection" - Nelson Most people hate this song and that's just fine by me. I'm completely comfortable gettin' jiggy to this...or "After the Rain"!
9. "Don't Pull Your Love Out on Me Baby" - Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds You can't help but love this one! Listen to it...tell me you don't feel like dancing!
10. "Footloose" - Kenny Loggins Seriously...do I need to explain this? In a town where dancing was forbidden...he made it so! AWESOME!
11. "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" - Will Smith Lots of folks, I'm learning, aren't fans of his. I am. This song will have my bootie going everytime...without fail!
12. "Go All the Way" - The Rasberries This one is an oldie...but a goodie! Got it from my neighbor's 70's CD! Thanks Chris!
13. "Here I Go Again" - Whitesnake For so many reasons that don't have much to do with dancing, this song is one of my favorites! It's 80's hair band! Hello!!!
14. "Hole in My Heart" - Blackhawk One of my favorites to sway to in the back seat! (And I don't mean that in a nasty way, either!)
15. "Hooked On A Feeling" - BJ Thomas Simply because my son and I will sing every word! He's my singing partner!
16. "Hustle" - Van McCoy I want to be in Saturday Night Fever dancing to this song...70's attire and all...how fabulous to have actually done the Hustle in a club back then? I bet I could go all night to this one!
17. "I Ain't No Quitter" - Shania Twain Honestly, the video is what did it for me on this one. It's on my IPOD and I reference it often for a quick pick-me-up!
18. "I Want You to Want Me" - Cheap Trick The best!!!!!!! This will actually have me singing out the windows to those passing by!
19. "Joanna" - Kool and the Gang Another one to groove to from the 70's! Pop it in when you're feelin' blue! Perks you right up!
20. "Just Friends" - Amy Winehouse She's crazier than a shit-house rat...but she can sing! And she makes me sing along!
21. "Karma Chameleon" - Culture Club You can't have dorky/dancy/ridiculous music without including Boy George! I'm a fan...and that's okay.
22. "Let's Hear it for the Boy" - Deneice Williams I have danced to this song in my best friend's kitchen with a broom. It's on video somewhere. I have to include it.
23. "Let's Stay Together" - Al Green What isn't bootie shakin' about this one? You have to smile when you hear it...even if it's just a smirk!
24. "Married Man's A Fool" - Ry Cooder If you haven't heard it...find it. It's crazy and it makes me smile everytime I hear it!
25. "Mud On the Tires" - Brad Paisley I love muddin' and I love him too...so I can't help but smile!
26. "PYT - Pretty Young Thing" - Michael Jackson Talk about some serious groovin'! And I'm not that great of a dancer...but this song so covers it up!
27. "Rock With You" - Michael Jackson Likewise...this one is just something you can't stay still during!
28. "Signed, Sealed, Delivered...I'm Yours" - Stevie Wonder How can you not bust a move to Stevie? Is something wrong with you?
29. "Smoke of a Distant Fire" - Marshall Tucker Band Just plain feel good music! Enjoy it by singing along and dancing!
30. "Strokin" - Clarence Carter You can't hear it and not laugh...try it!
31. "Uptown Girl" - Billy Joel Just so damn happy you can't contain yourself! Your head will be boppin' before you even realize it!
32. "We Built This City" - Starship A favorite for reasons only my mom and I know...we'll always dance to this one!
33. "Would You Go With Me?" - Josh Turner If he's asking, the answer is yes! Oh...and the song is just too catchy to not learn the words and sing along.
34. "You Can't Hurry Love" - Phil Collins My feet won't sit still through this one. It's a favorite for on the way to work!
35. "65 Love Affair" - Paul Davis Just about one of the best! Dorky, ridiculous on a level superceding all others and genuinely cheesy! I love it! I actually have the claps all down!

I would rather listen to this "playlist" anyday than some of the other crap out there today! I was never into the grunge scene and the music had a lot to do with that. I just can't get into music that depresses me. Some might say that I just don't want to take the time to listen to the lyrics and understand the artist...and that's fine. Mostly, from music, I look to be entertained! Wham! does it for me! Always has...always will - well, mostly! ;)

I'd love to hear about your "On the Go" playlist! What do you use to get perked up?

You just can't go anywhere anymore!

What is up with not being able to go anywhere and not bump into anyone anymore? As most are aware, due to my absence of late, I've been under the weather. Well, on Sunday, I gave in to the pressure and finally made the trip to the doctor. Now, I had been in the bed (only removing myself to shower and, well, you know) so you can imagine I wasn't lookin' my finest! No makeup, hair wet, etc. Am I alone in the group of folks that just wander into the doctors office in whatever you could find in the floor? I can't be. I mean, you're going to the doctor...not a job interview. Those doctors can't be expecting you to show up in pageant attire, so be comfortable with the fact that they are used to seeing folks at their absolute worst and deal with it. You showing up bra-less and not matching is no surprise to them and they could care less...I assure you.

But, back to my original question: I show up on Sunday night at the facility to be "examined". I am (as previously stated) 'unsupported', un-matching and once my husband left - alone. My hair was atrocious, my face looked like a Krispy Kreme doughnut and I'm pretty certain the stems should've seen a razor - and that was just upon arrival. Well, you can't just go in, sit down, close your eyes and wait to hear your name called. Noooooooooooo....you have to bump into someone you know.

Now, it'd be different if it's like your best friend that you bumped into and ya'll can sit and chat. That's cool - odds are they've seen you at your worst anyway, right? You can catch up on family, school, whatever. Nope - you're going to bump into your County Commissioner. Someone who was married to a woman that you used to work with. Someone that you see on a weekly basis for things to do with your job. Ugh....why!?

Then, you're put in the position to force that polite, "Hey! How are you?" Obviously, you know the answer - you're both in the doctor's office. But, that's how it goes, right? The only saving grace you have is that they must feel as shitty as you to have gotten out of the house and show up. I hope you encounter those that don't care much for chit-chat...I hope they accept a simple, "Howdayado?" and move on. Otherwise, it tends to make your wait in that room a heckuva lot longer! (Sigh!!!!!!!)

Wastin' Away...

I apologize for the ever-so-brief hiatus. I've been sick. Turns out, my flu shot worked after all because that's not what got me down. After four days, several drugs, one double roll of Angel Soft (we never have Kleenex in the house) and two shots...I was deemed to have a bacterial infection - not the flu. That's a win, if you ask me. Another win - that neither of the kids came down with it! Whooo - hoooo! It all started on Thursday and the only time I got out of the bed from then until Sunday afternoon was to shower and use the facilities. Friday morning was so bad that I was bargaining with my mom for a catheter...getting up was that bad! Whatever this was, started out and set up in my lungs and eeeewwwww....it just got worse! So, I ventured out (for the first time in four days) today and headed to the doctor. The wait wasn't bad...they gave me two shots - which induced vomiting due to the fact that I hadn't eaten and my weakened state - and two prescriptions. So, we're good to go! I'll be 100% in no time. I'm tired of fever...I'm tired of the quarantine....I'm tired of Mucinex...I'm tired of boring TV...I miss my kids...and mostly, I'm tired of feeling like I'm putting everyone else in a bind. I'm ready to be me again. Tomorrow can't get here soon enough!

Retraction...my style.

So, my husband got a kick out of the blog I posted about sick, needy husbands. So much so that he took a picture of me (at a very weak moment, by the way) while I was laid up over the weekend. Here it is:

So we, at Jenn's Little Soapbox, regret any inconvenience our previous blog may have caused.

Sincerely,

Jenn ;)

From the heart...

My best friend's dad, Mike Cooper, is not doing well. I don't have details and they aren't important anyway. He has Cancer. He's been surviving it for some time now and I just got word that he's approached a pretty tough 'hill' in this battle.

Bottom line: This man and his family need to be lifted up right now. They are going through something no family should ever have to endure. They help my mission with the American Cancer Society ring true! Celebrate. Remember. Fight Back!

Keep them in your thoughts...they're the most wonderful family and their strength is truly being tested.

A struggle for normalcy amongst the flu!

It's flu season. I'm not worried about me. I got the flu shot. Even if "they" are saying that the strain out this year isn't the same as the one I was innoculated against, I'm not worried. My husband has the flu. He's on night two of coughing, aching, stuffy head and fever and I gotta tell you...no one is more ready for this to be over than ME! I'm the type that wants to be left alone when I'm sick. I don't want anyone around me. I want a phone, a remote, a thermometer and a drink nearby. That's all. It's all because I am a perky, upbeat person 90% of the time. When I'm sick, I'm not that person. I don't want to burden anyone with my unhappy attitude. Nevertheless, I recognize that not everyone is like that. Case in point - my husband. Like most men, it's the end of the world when he's sick. Am I right ladies? For the most part, if a lady gets the flu it's business as usual...just with a little more attitude. Kids still have to be carted around, houses still have to be kept up, contacts still have to be made & pets still have to be cared for. The family unit (as a whole) still has to operate. But, heaven forbid a man catch a cold or, worse, the flu. The entire operation might as well shut down! Needs are at an all time high and you're #1 on the demand list. The upside...at least you're needed, right? I find it most humorous that the phrase, "Ugh...I feel like crap!" is uttered repititiously. No shit, you feel like crap. YOU HAVE THE FLU!!!!!! Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it. You can go to the doctor only to have him send you home on fluids and rest. But, you're probably already doing that before you head up there, right?

• Just stay in bed.
• Rest.
• Drink lots of fluids so you don't get dehydrated.
• Take Tylenol regularly - or change it up by switching between that and Motrin. Always works for the babies.
• Take something for congestion if it happens to accompany your fever.

Your body is going to ache - a lot. You're doing more harm than good by trying to do anything more than recover. Perhaps the flu is the body's way of saying, "Slow down, damn it! I'm tired!"...just a thought.

Is it over yet?

I'm starving for new television! I hear the writers may have finally come to an agreement on terms of whatever they are ironing out with what they deserve and all...and I couldn't be happier! My Tivo has been out of practice so long I'm afraid it won't work when it all does turn around! I hope they come to an agreement that lets them all get back to work soon. They're certainly not helping the slumping economy if they're not working and earning money, are they? Mostly, my reasons are selfish...but I'm okay with it! I miss my Grey's Anatomy! What is McDreamy thinking with Rose? Meredith needs him even though she can't express that to him! I NEED to know what is going on. Ain't it gonna be a pain in the ass of television viewers everywhere if the writer's start back to work and all of a sudden find themselves without humor, intellect or captivating material? Sssshhhhhhhhhh....we won't even think about that! Hurry back writer's - we need you!

What's a degree?

A conversation over dinner this evening:

Hayden: "Daddy, why are you in college?"

Daddy: "Well, I'm trying to get my degree."

Hayden: "What's a degree?" (It's always the easy questions for him. I get questions like, "What makes a rock hard?")

Daddy: "A degree is something you get after you finish school that makes you an expert in that subject. Like, if you're going to be a teacher or a lawyer, you become an expert in that by learning all you can about it."

Hayden: "What are you going to expert in?"

Daddy: "Finance and Business."

Hayden: "Hmmmm....okay."

About five minutes later:

Hayden: "I'm gonna expert in superhero."

I love his ambition!

Reasoning...from a 5 year old!

So, most of you are aware of the new 'lady friend' in my little boy's life. Her name is Gabrielle and, from what I hear, she's "all that and a bag of chips!" Still not having met this little chickie, I'm understandably skiddish. I mean, what are her intentions, exactly? Shouldn't this be discussed?

I'm kidding....partly. So, after the inaugural drawing came home introducing Miss Gabby to me, I was surprised to find out that the following week he was comtemplating a "break-up". HE'S FIVE!!!!!!!!!! I arrived to pick him up from school and the teacher tells him to "think about it before he makes any rash decisions." "What's she talking about?", I asked. "Oh, nothing.", he replied. "I'm just thinking about breaking up with Gabrielle.", he finished.

Turns out, after much poking and prodding, that his reasoning happened to be because she cheers for the wrong team. That's right...apparently, she's an Alabama fan. At our household, we pull for the Auburn Tigers (WAR EAGLE!!!!) and he saw this as reason enough that it just wasn't going to work out. He actually told the teachers at his school that his "family won't put up with that!" How hilarious is that? How's that for die hard?

Needless to say, he decided to give her another shot when she converted for him. I just might like this girl after all ;) I had to laugh at this...and I did - out loud, in fact. If only all life's decisions were that simple, huh?

Co-sleeping...it ain't for everyone!

Hayden as a wee little man!

(Definitely an alternative to co-sleeping!)

In the blogosperic world we live in today, it's easy to find a chat room, message board or blog telling you all about how to raise happy healthy humans. My advice (not that anyone has asked) is to do your own thing. You were raised by someone...you are guaranteed to have picked something up from it. The hard part is deciphering the good from the bad and going from there. I bring up Co-sleeping because it's something foreign to me. I don't do this. I never have. I can count on one hand the number of times my son has ever been in the bed with me to sleep - and he was sick all three times. Now, that's not talking about the very young infancy age when he was in the same room right next to the bed and might as well have been in it with me. Those teenie babies need to be near you...heck, they've been inside you for nine months. You can't expect them to let go immediately. But, then your second one will come along - like my little princess - and letting go is exactly what they'll do. From the day she came home from the hospital, she slept in her own bed...for eight hours or more each night. I'm not making that up. She was independent from the moment my water broke. I struggle with issues like this, as we all do. I feel guilty sometimes when my kids (one or both at he same time) come all the way down the 17 stairs in the middle of the night for whatever reason (bad dream, wet bed or daddy's loud snoring) and I march them right back up to get in their own bed. I feel very guilty. I want so badly to throw them in the bed with me and cuddle next to them and hear their little hearts beating. But, the independent/determined side of me wins almost every time. I want them to be independent. I want them to be strong. I want them to be self-sufficient. I expect too much from them, I fear. Now, don't get me wrong. It's not like I can't go back to sleep once they're tucked safely back to sleep. I'm out once I'm back in the bed. It's afterwards...the next morning. I think to myself, "Would it have been so bad to let them crash for just one evening?" "What's it going to hurt to let them fight over who sleeps next to me...so close I can smell their lotion?" Nothing, that's what. It wouldn't hurt one thing. I can speak from both sides of this, I think. I was a co-sleeper with my mom for a long time. I was probably 10 or older before I started taking ownership of my own bed. Different circumstances, however. It was just she and I. No one else to consider, really. If I examine how it all affected me, I must say it was minimal. I am a very independent person...not because my mom didn't let me sleep in her bed, but because of the many other qualities, morals and values that she instilled in me. What it all boils down to, I think, is that there are different choices for different folks. For those that choose to co-sleep with one or more of their kids, they will most likely have to deal with separation issues later in life. For me - one that chooses not to - I'll have to deal with the troubling issue of "maybe if I had let them crash with me, they'd be closer to me." I'm curious about your opinions on this...don't take it as controversial. I'm just interested to know. There's certainly no worry of a right or wrong opinion here. Tell me your thoughts!

Everyone needs a Swear Jar!

Click for more Funny Videos Funny Jokes This is my office! Although not very proud of this, we could probably afford to buy a keg every other day with the money we would raise! I will start a swear jar tomorrow! We will put the money toward our Relay for Life goal...who's with me?

Party in the Stomach!

I hope you find this as hilarious as I did! I can't stop laughing!

The Astonishing Mrs. Henchy!

Is anyone else as big a fan of Brooke Shields as I am? I love her! I remember watching Blue Lagoon as a young girl and being totally mesmerized. In high school, I was friends with a girl whose older sister (named Bonnie) looked just like Brooke. She was beautiful too! Not only is Brooke a photogenic icon, she's Princeton educated as well (Class of 1987). In my book, beauty and brains = AWESOME! I think my admiration for Mrs. Shields really came to fruition upon her book release of "Down Came the Rain". After the birth of my first child, I experienced postpartum depression and it was very refreshing to finally read something so direct and real about what I had experienced. It took a great deal of courage for her to publicly admit she wasn't that crazy about parenthood when it finally came around. It's all about chemistry, I assure you. Hormones can be a bitch! Brooke was premiered in the Feb. 3rd issue of Parade. She is moving into a new phase in her life with the premiere of Lipstick Jungle and everything else she's got going. She says, "I keep thinking I'm younger than I am." That's something I not only look forward to, but will strive toward!

What was I thinking?

Why is it that going out to eat can be so traumatic for me? If it's just me, the kids and my husband, no problems. I never have issues that I can't deal with. But, throw someone else and their child in the mix and all hell is probably going to break loose!

Not all kids, mind you, but certain ones. Why do I keep agreeing to go eat with them? And it's not the kids fault. It's the parents. (Note: If the adults you're dining with are disciplining your child more than you, you should probably pay more attention.) What makes you think anyone wants to continue the evening if your kid screams bloody murder because they can't hold the "buzzer" while we wait for our table? What makes you think that my idea of a perfect evening hasn't been ruined when I have to tell your kid, not once but three times, to put their ass in the seat and stop acting like their on an episode of Romper Room? What makes you think that I don't want to call it a night after bread and appetizers when I'm stuck sitting next to my kids and your child because you "don't mind if they sit over there"? Are you completely ignorant? Never mind...I should answer my own question.

My history with restaurants is mostly pleasant. I tend to pick them apart when I arrive. No one is safe - least of all, management. I will go through the operations with a fine tooth comb. I should be a health inspector/mystery shopper. I've been reduced to cleaning the bathroom in an Olive Garden before. Don't worry; I'm not embarrassed by it. If it had been up to par when I walked in, I wouldn't have had to do it. That's just my take. Yep, owning and managing my very own restaurant would make me as giddy as a school girl. Not only am I certain that I could do it, but I'm positive that I'd do it with skill, poise and professionalism. If nothing else, you could feel comfy about eating off the bathroom floor...if you wanted to. I base my standards on what I expect. But, I digress.

As for the company with which I have chosen to dine with recently, it may have been a mistake. I can no longer take the ridiculous behavior that comes with this particular human being's parents. They take every opportunity with others as a "break" from their child...a child that is starving for attention. It is this child that makes me realize how special child care providers really are. I always knew that particular profession wouldn't suit me...but never has it been more evident than when I'm exposed to this little ankle biter. Then there comes the awkward situation when the "Dad" talks about how sorry "Mom" is at the whole parenting thing and the only reason they aren't having anymore (Hallelujah!) is because he already feels like he has two kids with Mom and child. (While I totally agree with his statement, still awkward for the rest of us.)

Perhaps it's pity that makes me agree to this once in a blue moon. But, when I can't make it through dinner without downing several Blue Moons, I think it's time to reconsider present company.

Who's That Girl?

My son comes home with a plethora of information in his backpack everyday of the week! I'm overwhelmed each afternoon with junk information, lunch money requests, vocabulary words, drawings, lunchroom menus and weekly agendas. It demands a good portion of my time to pilfer through it all and determine what gets my attention and what goes into the trash file! The drawings always get my attention. From carefully crafted silhouettes of Spider-Man and Super-Man to rockets and football fields...my fridge looks like a mini Louvre (of sorts) and that's fine by me! When else will I have the joy of covering my Frigidaire?

I might have known this one was on its way...the illustrious "girlfriend" picture. So, her name is Gabrielle. I've never met her - not sure I want to, to be perfectly honest. He proceeded to tell me that she gave him a hug when they parted this afternoon. With tears streaming down my face, I expressed interest in this "special friend" - don't give me any grief...it's been a crazy day today! I'll do my best to adjust and accept this new little philly into my world...for as long as she's here, anyway.