Wednesday, January 16, 2008

It's the decent thing to do!

Let me warn you...this one could get ugly! I want to discuss something that some may find a bit offensive. Fart. There. Now that we've all said it and laughed, let's move on. Let's also get it out on the table that everyone does it. EVERYONE. If you say you don't you're either lying or about to explode. Having a five year old boy (and a two year old girl) means I have more than my fair share of flatulence. I fight the battle of, "Well, I know it was an accident, but try not to do it at the table. And don't laugh." everyday. The absurdity of it all is that the reason it's such a societal impropriety is because of this deep South region in which I live. I have friends that live in the MidWest and honestly think nothing of lettin' 'er rip right there in the kitchen. Among the cookin' utensils and all...it's shameful, really. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being a prude about it or anything. But, check this out: When you step in dog crap, it ruins your shoes. When you get pooped on by a bird, it ain't pretty. When your young'n has a mishap in their jumperoo, you don't carry him/her around like that all day. So, what's the difference in the passing of gas? Is the gross factor eliminated because there's no visible evidence? Honestly, sometimes the irksome aroma that emanates is worse! I say all of this to ask why we WON'T walk around with crap on our shoe from our four-legged friends' business in the yard...we WON'T let bird crap stay on our head and become a centerpiece like the Chiquita Banana lady's hat...we WON'T take our kids in public with poop running down their leg. But, we'll happily come in from a hard days work and plop down in that recliner that has been dealt more than its fair share of 'blows'! (pardon the pun). Yet, we have no qualms about sitting where someone else may have released their morning thunder! Nope. We'll sit right down in that seat and not think one thing about it. In addition, I have to wonder what's happening to the life of the chair. I mean, it has to be putting some 'wear and tear' on the cushions, right? I guess that's something to think about the next time you go chair shopping, huh?

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