Lipstick Jungle!!!

I went to my first "screening" tonight! It was fun! The pilot episode of Lipstick Jungle was worth the energy I exerted to get there!

This show is gonna be great! I urge you all to tune in when it airs February 3rd on NBC. Starring Brooke Shields, Kim Raver and Lindsay Price, this show is coming in on the coattails of Sex and the City and it's getting off to a great start. They all three play very successful women that deal with having to answer for their decisions when their male counterparts don't! They are all dealing with their own issues and insecurities, families and fashion.

I think what I love most is Brooke Shields...of course, Lindsay Price - who you may remember from Beverly Hills 90210 as Steve's girlfriend (and later his wife) and the surprise was Andrew McCarthy! I know everyone remembers Mannequin and Weekend at Bernie's.

So, tune in and let me know what you think!

Multi-tasking home decor...

Back around the holidays, my husband (bless his heart) got a novel idea. Create something to anchor into the walls of our living room to help absorb the sound, thereby decreasing the echo in the room.

Our living room has 18 foot ceilings, so noise does bounce around. The only way I take notice is that I can never enjoy watching TV in the living room because I can't ever get the volume right. I'll have it loud enough to hear while I'm in the recliner, but it's way too loud to those entering the room. So, I retreat to the bedroom for TV 99% of the time...you know, for arguments sake. Sigh...anyway, so being the engineer he is, he came up with something we could "build".

Basically, it consists of a 4'x4' piece of plywood, foam backer board, lots of glue, quilt batting and material. Now, multiply that by four...cause that's how many we made. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, hanging them was a whole nother issue. I suck at math. So, I was automatically on the manual labor side of this endeavor. Nothing like perching yourself atop a 12 foot ladder and trying to "muscle" a 4x4 material covered piece of plywood up over your head and try to ring the anchor in the wall with the hanger on the back of the "creation"! Just ask my sister-in-law. She and I were the lucky birds doing the perching!

Nevertheless, they are up. I don't gather that they muffle much noise, but they certainly add something to the blank wall they now adorn. My neighbor refers to them as "Sound Barriers". He said anyone that lives with me would have to come up with something to absorb all the noise I create. Great...now I'm paranoid that he's seen me at my redneck-iest (screaming at the kiddies in the yard!) No worries, though. I am loud. Always have been and most likely always will be. I hate to say this, but it's just the way I'm wired. :)

I wanna be cool!

Every night as the kids go down for the night, I lay their clothes out for the following day. I've developed this as a habit, not only from my mom as I was growing up, but out of necessity for the morning routine. They're climbing into bed and I'm placing their clothes strategically at the foot of the bed. It really speeds things up in the morning and it helps stave off arguements about who wants to wear what when we should be heading out the door.

Tonight, as I was performing the ritual, I laid out Hayden's jeans. I checked with the "weather man" for the next day's forecast and chose a long sleeved shirt to accompany those jeans. I approached the head of the bed for a kiss and hug and he stopped me short.

Hayden: "What shirt did you get for me?"

Me: "Your red one with the sports balls on it."

Hayden: "Well, can you please let me wear a cool shirt?"

Me: "A cool shirt? I thought that one was cool. What's wrong with that one?"

Hayden: "Nothing, I just really wanted to wear a cool one."

Me: "Well, which one is cool?"

Hayden: "Well, is my Bains Gap one clean? It's a cool one."

He was referring to a shirt he has with 'GAP' on the front. Already he's enamored by the brand name items and he's only five years old. The funny thing is, he called it his 'Bains Gap' shirt. 'Bains Gap' is the name of a road near our house. We take this road often because it's a quick shot to Anniston over the old Ft. McClellan. My little man is more aware of his surroundings than I take notice, huh?

Ode to the Grocer!

Please allow me these few precious moments to thank you…and I mean really thank you.

As a little girl (like many at a young age) I wanted so badly to be a cashier. I loved the idea of scanning the items, taking the money, using the register and bagging the groceries. (So strange that nowadays I desire a profession in the hospitality industry…but that’s for another blog!)

So, I thank you, local grocer - which shall go unnamed to protect the innocent – for making my dream come true this evening. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for employing young, ignorant teenagers who scan my items with such disdain even I no longer love life. And, also for teaching them the thing to do when they see a young mother of two struggling to weave her ridiculously overloaded buggy down the isle is to not even move their cart of ‘items being returned to the shelf’. No, no…please, finish your phone call first, “Bret”. I’ll just stand here and age.

(Sidenote: As my children grow up and get jobs of their own, I hope that society doesn’t alter so much so that being on your cell phone while stocking groceries is acceptable. Seriously, the only person important enough to call you at work when you’re sixteen is your mama…and then, by God, you better answer. Am I right?)

In addition, I’d like to personally thank you for allowing me the privilege to bag my own groceries. I was certainly feeling sub par in the challenge department (seeing as how all I did was get out in the cold and brave your supermarket in heels with two kids in tow). Bagging groceries was just what I needed to relieve my stress. Perhaps I’ll work it into my routine on a weekly basis? It was also a nice touch to have 10+ trainees standing at register 3 (me at register 4) and witness this tacky, yet somewhat comical, display of errors as I tried to bag my items correctly and according to placement. I mean, you can’t bag hamburger meat and grapes together, right? I feel that they may have picked up on some pretty important customer service skills while standing there popping their gum, texting their friends and rolling their eyes. Say it with me now, “That’s not my job!” Goooooooood! And if that wasn’t enough for them, they can just tune into my cashier “Tiphany’s” grand attitude about it all. She’ll have you perky in no time! I might have had sympathy for their acne ridden selves if I didn’t stand before them with my “bindi” in place.

So, again, I thank you. Thank you for helping me see the error of my ways. Thank you for proving that my decision to come to you and avoid the long lines at my local discount store that sells tires and groceries was WRONG!!! At least there I can do self checkout and get the real rush from playing cashier! You know…minus the money and all.

Up yours….truly!

It's all about making her laugh...

So, I recently visited one of my favorite blogspots, List of the Day, to find that he had comprised a list of top female celebrities over 40. It's great! I'm inspired to put a twist on it and get your opinion!

My list shall be comprised of those that bust my gut!! They might not be hotties by the standards of Tinsel Town but they make me laugh...and that wins my heart over looks anyday of the week! In no particular order, we have....

• Vince Vaughn

You've seen him in Dodgeball, Wedding Crashers and Old School. He's not your textbook hottie...but his dry humor and quick wit get me everytime. I wouldn't kick him out of bed. ;)

• Drew Carey

He has the best laugh...the kind that makes you start laughing - even if what he's laughing about isn't funny. His standup is my favorite! And I bet he'd keep you warm too!

• Adam Sandler

He is awesome in The Wedding Singer. So cute...you just want to squeeze him! And doesn't he have a great smile?

• Tyler Perry

AKA Madea...he's great!

• David Spade

Two words x 3 - Joe Dirt, Tommy Boy, Black Sheep. Don't you just want to love him?

• Steve Carrell

To date, no one has made me laugh or cry harder than this man in The 40 Year Old Virgin! He is wonderful!

• Will Ferrell

From Ricky Bobby to Ron Burgandy...Janet Reno to Alex Trebec. Either you love him or you hate him...I love him. He's not afraid to look like an idiot...and that's sexy!

• Rob Schneider

My favorite to date has to be The Benchwarmers...but he's great all-around. And I bet his laugh is great too!

• Wayne Brady

Whose Line is it Anyway? One of my favorite shows...also starring Drew Carey.

I know there are some great one's I've left off...who are your favorites?

Inspiration for the young & determined!

I am a huge Napoleon fan…Dynamite not Bonaparte. When this movie came out I was blown away. It was artistic, stupid, funny and charming. One of my very faves! I have a new fave! If you haven’t seen this, please do. I won’t spoil anything by discussing the details of it….just see it. It’s on Pay Per View and Dish on Demand right now. Seriously…it’s two hours of utter hilarity! I want to know what you think!

My tribute!

In honor of the passing of Mr. Ledger, I thought I’d compile a list of peeves. I shall call it, 10 Things I Hate About You. YOU will refer to the action that is being done, not the person doing it. So, take no offense if you’re guilty.

1. I hate panty lines. HATE!!!!! It drives me absolutely crazy to see them. With all the modern options out there for feminine undergarments, find something that is seamless, barely there or thong-ish. If none of these options suit you, wear larger britches or go commando.
2. I can’t stand lipstick on a cup. Coffee cup, mug, glass…whatever. It seems tacky to me.
3. I hate unpainted toenails. I do not make exceptions on this. Please, please, please people. Paint those babies. It’s the decent thing to do.
4. I can’t stand it when the toilet paper is replaced incorrectly on the roll. It should always roll over, not under. ALWAYS!
5. I can’t stand it when someone’s pants leg is not over their shoe. If they’re walking around with it tucked into their shoe and they don’t even realize it, I have to ask how aware they are of their surroundings.
6. I hate for my side of the bed to be warm before I get in it. If someone has been sitting on my side of the bed, I can’t go to bed until it cools off. Same goes for my pillow.
7. I hate when someone borrows my chapstick/lipgloss and gets their own lipstick all over it. I will throw it away every time.
8. I hate to hear individuals misuse words in sentences. For instance, your boss tells you that you “unconsciously” do something when they really mean you “subconsciously” do it. You don’t do anything when you’re unconscious. DUH!
9. I can’t stand people that make excuses. I would rather hear a screaming child than excuses. Excuses do nothing but make me mad….they coincide with a negative attitude and the two hand-in-hand are insufferable.
10. Finally…those folks that walk around feeling important when their cell phone rings and then stick around to talk (loudly) to the person on the other end. Odds are, no one in the room is on the phone with you. So, we don’t want to hear what you’re saying.

These are just a few of mine. I have plenty more where those came from. Perhaps for another blog. Anyone got anything stranger?

Moments of Truth, huh?

Teambuilding activities are a fun thing for me. You know what I’m talking about…fall back and trust that your ‘crew’ will catch you. Or, pass the orange under your chin to the person next to you – no hands allowed. I love this sort of thing! Call me a dork if you’d like…I’m fine with it. The cheesier the game the better, in my opinion. Bottom line, I want everyone to walk away learning something new about the folks they work with and even learn to appreciate the intricacies. The last time we did this at my office it was my groups turn to come up with a ‘teambuilding’ strategy, I took the approach of getting to know each other a little better. I felt certain that everyone in the office could agree that we take each other for granted because we don’t really know each other away from work. It went well. Learned a little about folks I didn’t know. For instance, there were three folks out of twenty-five in the office that were only children. The twist was that these three were also the only to have tattoos. Perplexing, huh? I thought so. So, tonight this show debuted – The Moment of Truth. It aired after American Idol on Fox. The format is: Lucky guy/girl sits down in front of an audience. They are asked 21 questions (of the 50 questions they previously answered while attached to a lie detector) in front of a few friends and an audience of strangers. They answer these and if their answer on air matches what the lie detector test said they answered previously, they can win money. Neat, huh? It all made me wonder, how many of us would be honest when asked? I mean, if you’re asked a question like, “Have you ever gone through someone’s personal items at work without their knowledge?” I’m pretty sure that everyone would have to say yes and shouldn’t feel uncomfortable about that. It’s human nature…and it’s not like they’re going to ask you specifically who. So, technically you’re safe. Right? But, when the question arises, “Is the reason you haven’t had children because you don’t see yourself with your spouse in five years?” it’s a bit tougher. Especially when he/she is sitting in the studio staring back at you. It poses the question – “Are we honest?” I’m a pretty open book. There isn’t a whole lot that folks can’t ask me. And if it happens to be one of those few things….I’ll elect not to answer you. No hard feelings. I just probably don’t trust you to respect me, my information or my decision. I try not to make it a habit of judging folks. I’ve never been in their shoes. Likewise, I don’t make it a habit of conversing with those that are choosing to judge me. It’s nothing personal…I just don’t have to deal with it. I put enough pressure on myself so I don’t feel like I need anyone else’s. Or, are we honest to a degree? Are we honest to keep from hurting someone’s feelings? Do we lie out of convenience? Do we lie just because we’re pretty sure we won’t get caught? All sorts of interesting questions arise out of this. This show isn’t groundbreaking. It’s been played, in theory, at slumber parties across the world for many years – that’s right! Truth or Dare. The only difference…you have a choice to pick dare and risk having to run around the house naked. Sometimes that might be the better choice…depending on who’s at the sleepover!

A little office humor to brighten your day!

glumbert - Bad Day at the Office

The techno world in which we live!

Tonight, my husband and I had an evening to wine and dine ourselves. On the agenda for the evening was dinner and a movie – boring, maybe. But, that’s enough for me.

We made it to dinner, but not the movie. It was decided that we would catch a film through Dish on Demand (Technology extraordinaire). We headed to dinner and took our time. We weren’t rushed. I didn’t have to take anyone to the potty. No one spilled their drink…wait, Brent did. But, only a little. There was no whining about crayons or the lack thereof. Nope…Granny had the kids. I took comfort in the fact that they were safe and sound with her at home, bathed and in PJ’s.

We were halfway through the appetizer when I got the call…all of you with parents of the baby boomer generation know the one I’m talking about!

Me: Hello?

Mom: Hey! We need help.

Me: Oh. What’s wrong?

Mom: We can’t get the DVD to work in your room.

Me: Why don’t you watch it in Hayden’s room or the living room?

Mom: We want to watch it in your room – it’s more fun. Your bed is bigger!

Me: Well, here’s what you have to do…

I proceeded to explain the process of switching the receiver to the correct setting, changing the channel on the TV to AV2 and making sure the DVD player was on, not the VCR. Shortly after that, Ratatouille was in surround sound!

You can’t help but laugh at all this! Heck, I’m even guilty of being technologically illiterate. Once it’s all setup in my house, we have to have a run-through of how things operate and what buttons on which remotes get me to Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday nights. DVR was a whole nother demon I’m proud to say I tackled! But, it wasn’t so long ago that I remember the only thing you had to do to get a movie going in my house was turn the VCR on. Moving a TV from one room to another didn’t take an act of Congress and it was so simple an 8 year old could do it.

Not anymore. This Hi-def world we live in today provides us with clearer pictures, better sound and wider screens. But, unless you have an electrical engineering degree from Auburn University, you probably can’t get any of it to work!

I laugh at my mom. My in-laws are the same way. They’ll go out of town and call my husband with, “Your mom can’t get the satellite working! Tell her what she’s supposed to be doing!” But, because it’s the latest and greatest, we want it. Nevermind that we don't know how to use it!

I can only imagine the horror that awaits me as my son rolls his eyes and says, “Give it here, mom! I’ll do it.” He’ll probably walk away annoyed and laugh at me with his friends. They’ll all joke about how they can’t figure out how we’ve raised them this far. They’ll throw in that they can’t imagine cassettes and having to listen to an entire set just for the one song and God knows computers will have far surpassed us by then…but that’s part of it, right? Living, learning, growing and being made fun of. Yep, that day when I no longer know more than them is just around the corner. I don’t look forward to that!

Until then, I’ll continue to bask in the glow of being the one that was on the other end of the phone that got Ratatouille working! Because right now, I’m still the hero…and that’s good enough for me!

Tragedy in your own backyard.

I awoke this morning to hear some news from my husband that I found most disturbing. He’s into weather. Way into weather. He’s part of a weather blog that James Spann is associated with. I won’t get into the details because honestly, I don’t know what they are. He’s always joking that someday “there’s gonna be something interesting on that blog” that I’m going to want to know about. Unfortunately, he was right today. The lead into the information on the blog was James Spann saying he was finding it hard to concentrate on weather because of the news of Rick Burgess’ son drowning. I’m just beside myself. For those that don’t know, Rick Burgess is one half of Rick & Bubba…popular radio personalities here in Alabama. They are syndicated all over the Southeast, however. (I used to be an avid listener before I got my IPOD. Now, I rarely turn the dial at all.) From reports I’ve read this morning, this was a tragic accident in their own backyard. Bronner Burgess was two years old and full of life! It was an accidental drowning and there was a phone call to 911. I can’t even begin to imagine the horrible feelings that they are all dealing with now. I was at my neighbor’s house last night and they have contractors coming in February to get started on their pool. We were discussing cost, maintenance, etc. and someone brought up a fence. My husband posed the question, “Why do you need a fence?” and I quickly retorted with the fact that I wouldn’t want kids falling in - my own or anyone else’s. How very bizarre that while we were discussing this topic, the very reason for discussion was taking place less than 200 miles from me. My heart aches for the Burgess family. They are local celebrities. At this time they need privacy and prayer to try and make sense of all that has happened. I hope they find themselves showered with both. As a mother, I’m speechless. Sherri, Rick and their four other children have all the sympathy I can muster.

Just when you think you're different....

It’s been one of those great days…where I’ve played with the kids, watched interesting things on TV, made plans for dinner and now getting to watch my favorite movie of all time – Hope Floats. It snowed today…so that was fun. My miniature Mr. Snowman Potatohead was awesome! My roast will be divine this evening and I’ve already hit on the fabulousness of my movie! But, let me tell you about the interesting things on TV today. I’m a fan of searching the guide to find out what's coming on. I was browsing and saw that “My Big Redneck Wedding” was on CMT. The title alone was enough to reel me in. So, I watched it and laughed. But, what came next was so worth the wait! I love countdowns! There is just something about the anticipation that builds as you wait to discover the lucky individual/place/record that makes it to #1! So, after the Redneck Wedding show was a Top 20 Redneck Moments! Honestly…I’ve never laughed so hard and felt so at home in all my life! One of the moments was the song "Convoy" by C.W. McCall. I have this song on my IPOD. My little boy loves it and knows just about every word! Another member of the countdown was Hee Haw. My grandmother and I used to watch Hee Haw every week! One of CBS’ finest hours, if you ask me! Gretchen Wilson’s Redneck Woman song was also on there. I have her album on the pod as well. The Dukesfest, that was started in 2001 was paid a tribute on the countdown, of course. And, not to spoil the ending for anyone that might be planning to tune in for the next airing, Jeff Foxworthy was recognized with the #1 spot! I’ve seen him in action at the Amphitheatre in Birmingham. (Used to be Oak Mountain – now Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre). Enjoy…if you decide to tune in. It’s a good one. And as a bonus there were several folks from Alabama cited throughout the show. One was from Oxford and one from Alexandria. I don’t know them…but pretty dang cool that they made the show!

Changes in Attitudes!

May 1st, 2005 was a monumental day for me. That’s the day my daughter was born. Now, that’s not to say that May 23rd, 2002 (the day my son was born) wasn’t life changing…it was different. I look at it this way: the day my son was born was a whirlwind of activity. I was unsure as a new mommy. I was suffering from the baby blues. I was extremely emotional and scared to death. On top of all that, I was trying like hell to make sure no one saw any of that. I wanted to be that happy-go-lucky person. I wasn’t. Eventually, I was….but not at first. In the early morning hours of May 1st, my water broke and she was on her way. Everything changed then. Labor and delivery were a piece of cake and there she was. What changed, you might be asking: I became a morning person. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I mean, I’ve never been a morning person. Ask my friend Kristin about me in high school – she’ll tell you stories of me spending the night with her. The morning would go something like this: Her - up at the butt crack of dawn getting ready, checking email, making breakfast, etc. Me - still asleep. I would have my lazy butt in bed until the last minute. With 20 minutes to go before we were to depart from home, I would jump in the shower, and we would be headed to school – Kristin in perfect hair, matching wardrobe and full tummy and me with wet hair, half dressed and eating a toaster waffle on the way. I know this drove Kristin crazy - so I'm sorry! I was usually ready for school by third period. And it would probably be wise to not speak to me until then either. Sigh…this was me. I went to Auburn…same scenario. Forget those 8am classes. Wasn’t gonna make it. Didn’t make it. I got married….still the same - not very friendly in the AM. I’ve always been this way. My mom used to have to drag me from the bed and put my feet on the floor to get me moving – which infuriated me, by the way! I would stroll into work and it was just commonly known that Jenn didn’t have much to say until about 10AM. Nothing personal…just not awake yet. Now, once 10:30 rolled around and I had a biscuit in me, look out! Boisterous Jenn would be all over the place. I had my son and that didn’t change. The only difference was, I wasn’t getting any sleep! But, when she came along, it changed. I can’t explain it. I’m still known to sleep WAY in on weekends or when the opportunity is there, but the difference is, if I’m awakened early, I’m not that pissed off anymore. Perplexing, huh? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a change I’m glad took place in me. But, how? Did my age have something to do with it? Was it the awareness that my three year old little boy would be curious about his new baby sister? What was it? Perhaps I’ll never know exactly why. But, I can say that it’s glaring evidence that folks change - happens everyday!

Changes in Latitudes, right?

Change is hard. It’s inevitable. It happens to everyone. Change is probably the most difficult thing to manage. But, it happens. There’s not a whole lot you can do about it. You have to know yourself well enough to know how you deal with change. Do you welcome it? Do you embrace the idea of change and look at it as an opportunity to try or learn something new? I embrace change. I got married at 20 years old. In fact, I had only been 20 for 17 days when I said ‘I do’. I look back on that now and wonder what on Earth made me think I knew who I was at 20. I had my first child at 21 and my second at 24. All of these milestones in my life helped me learn about myself. Not only that, but they changed me. I’ve heard people say that they are happy to report, at 30+, that they’re the exact same person they were 10 years prior. It would make me sad to say that. It would break my heart to think that I hadn’t grown or learned or broadened my horizons or perspective from the challenges I’ve faced. In fact, I’d be a little ticked off, to tell you the truth! What did I go through it all for, if not to learn something? Change is in the air. I can feel it. In fact, it’s been lingering for a while now. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s just around the corner. I’m excited to see what change has to offer. I’m intrigued to find out how it’s going to introduce itself. I feel mostly that this change is going to occur in my work life. Perhaps partly I’m longing for change in my work life. Who knows? Regardless, I’m ready. I recently came across two different articles having to do with business that included statements I found to be profound. One was, “You can’t expect your employees to get excited about selling your product if you don’t show interest in what they get excited about.” Great, right? Basically, if your only interest in your employees is whether they do their job and make their numbers, you won’t have very motivated employees. Think about it! The other statement was, “People don’t leave good companies. They leave bad managers.” Truer words have never been written. All that aside, change is gonna happen. I encourage you to approach it head on with a positive attitude. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll take something away when all is said and done.

It's the decent thing to do!

Let me warn you...this one could get ugly! I want to discuss something that some may find a bit offensive. Fart. There. Now that we've all said it and laughed, let's move on. Let's also get it out on the table that everyone does it. EVERYONE. If you say you don't you're either lying or about to explode. Having a five year old boy (and a two year old girl) means I have more than my fair share of flatulence. I fight the battle of, "Well, I know it was an accident, but try not to do it at the table. And don't laugh." everyday. The absurdity of it all is that the reason it's such a societal impropriety is because of this deep South region in which I live. I have friends that live in the MidWest and honestly think nothing of lettin' 'er rip right there in the kitchen. Among the cookin' utensils and all...it's shameful, really. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being a prude about it or anything. But, check this out: When you step in dog crap, it ruins your shoes. When you get pooped on by a bird, it ain't pretty. When your young'n has a mishap in their jumperoo, you don't carry him/her around like that all day. So, what's the difference in the passing of gas? Is the gross factor eliminated because there's no visible evidence? Honestly, sometimes the irksome aroma that emanates is worse! I say all of this to ask why we WON'T walk around with crap on our shoe from our four-legged friends' business in the yard...we WON'T let bird crap stay on our head and become a centerpiece like the Chiquita Banana lady's hat...we WON'T take our kids in public with poop running down their leg. But, we'll happily come in from a hard days work and plop down in that recliner that has been dealt more than its fair share of 'blows'! (pardon the pun). Yet, we have no qualms about sitting where someone else may have released their morning thunder! Nope. We'll sit right down in that seat and not think one thing about it. In addition, I have to wonder what's happening to the life of the chair. I mean, it has to be putting some 'wear and tear' on the cushions, right? I guess that's something to think about the next time you go chair shopping, huh?

Idol Chatter!

It's that time again...time for normally somewhat sensible folks to go out in public, stand in really long lines and make complete fools of themselves. Nope, not Disney World. I'm talking about...American Idol! I'm not ashamed to say that I'd rather be watching it than the election primaries. It's hilarious! Some of it is down-right gut busting! Where else can you find such entertainment? You could visit a karaoke bar but you wouldn't see the number of folks you do on Idol. Most people I know say they only watch the beginning - when the country wide auditions are going on. At least, that's all they'll admit to. I'm more likely to stick with the show for it's duration. I become intrigued by the personalities that become the show each season. Don't get me wrong, I don't Tivo it or anything. It's just good entertainment. It's enough to keep me laughing and 'they' say laughter is the best medicine. That being said, I could use a triple dose of some gut busting laughter. Perhaps a sushi lunch would help? See you tomorrow when Idol stops in Dallas, Texas. Should be interesting!

Some Days Just Suck!

Ever had a bad day? Don't you hate it when things just don't go your way? Being the type person that enjoys things having order to them, I can't stand it when my routine is jacked up. My husband is currently enrolled at the local university. Each semester brings change on my part. I, being the 'parent primarily responsible for the shuffling of the children', often have a good bit of adjusting each go-around. It usually goes pretty seamlessly - due in-large part to my extraordinary organization skills - usually. Tonight was different. Monday night brings class, so I have to get back in the routine of picking up both children after work (They're at different locations on opposite sides of town.) I'm rarely one to ask for help, so this adds a degree of difficulty. This particular afternoon found me with little gas left. I left destination #1 (picking up Hallie) and headed for the fillin' station. Put my gift card in the pump and discovered I can't pay with a gift card at the pump. You gotta go inside. Well, that ain't workin' so I opted to chance it! Bad idea. I was coasting down the main road toward Hayden with only 12 minutes to get there. It was fine. I was going to make it. (BTW - I should mention, it's bad to be late to his school for pick up. Very bad.) All of a sudden, I felt that feeling in the gas pedal...you know the one. You're pressing the pedal, but nothing is happening. Sigh...I ran out. But, how lucky was I that I was only about 300 feet from the only station on this road? Very! I coasted...literally-stiff steering wheel and all...into the station that has only two pumps. Another nod to the Gods for making the pump I needed available. The stars were aligning. I had 1o minutes to get to him. I tried calling my husband. I tried my mother -in-law. I tried the school to let them know what happened. I just needed someone at the school by 5:30. My luck ran out at the station, apparently. I coudn't get anyone. I was approx. 8 minutes late. Now, I owe extra money for detaining the teachers at the school. They were less than pleasant with me. On one hand, I can't say I blame them. I know they have families to get to and I understand. But, I'm pretty sure I'll be finding other arrangements soon. Nevertheless, we made it home. We had McDonald's because that always makes us feel better. We survived. I've had worse days, that's for sure.

Look out Miracle Gro...you've got competition!

So, what do you do with your potato water? You know…the water you’re left with after boiling potatoes. I have a friend – Biff – who used to request I save the potato water for him because he would eat it…like potato soup. My husband was clicking around on Farmer’s Almanac the other day and found another use for the potato water – feed it to your house plants. Now, this might not be anything new to most of you, but to someone like me (who holds no interest in greenery) this was borderline interesting. I don’t do the watering at my house. Like I said, I’m much more likely to cause harm than good. Now the cooking, that’s 99.5% me. So, it is interesting that the two find a way to intersect. So, every time I boil potatoes, I save my potato water for him to distribute among the house plants. I don’t have photographic records of growth to pass along, but trust me when I say that the plants are loving it. I tend to gauge a plants growth by whether or not it’s getting in my way. If it used to not and now it does, that means growth to me. Don’t get me wrong, plants are nice. They’re a plus in the house. I’m just not gonna take responsibility for ‘em. Not unless I can unload something from my already full plate. (That’s another blog, however.) Discovering this use for potato water got me curious as to what else this starchy fave of my family can do. Thrifty Fun has a message board with suggestions from folks on how they keep theirs from going to waste. Check it out. Who knows…maybe it’ll be the cure for Cancer one day!

These are my Lifelines!

Remember the show ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?’ When Regis was the host, that show rocked! It came out when I was in college and it quickly took its place as the show you’d plan a party around. It’s wasn’t as dorky as you might be thinking…you could turn those questions into a drinking game pretty quickly. But, I digress. I was thinking this evening about the folks in my life and what I have to offer them. I was focusing on the fact that I hope they don’t feel shortchanged by me. They all contribute to my life in ways that are so fulfilling. I honestly can’t imagine my life without them. So, in the aforementioned television show, you were provided three ‘lifelines’ to help you reach $1,000,000. I’m grateful for my ‘lifelines’ because I know they’d get me through! For instance: If I were faced with a question regarding music I’d have Les on the phone faster than a cat can lick its butt! I don’t know anyone in possession of the musical knowledge he has. He might not be into Wham! as much as I’d like for him to be…but if the question were regarding them, I could take care of it on my own;) If the question revolved around anything to do with religion, my best friend Nichole is who I’m calling. She’s so strong in her faith. Aside from that, her curiosity about the subject in general is mind blowing. She wants to understand why other faiths/religions believe the way they do – and it may be only so she can tell you that yours is wrong and hers is right. I love this about her! Let a question fall out of the air about cooking and I’m calling Lori! (Especially if it’s how to make the best Banana Pudding EVER!) Not only does she love to cook, she loves to know about the food she’s cooking. She would also be my go-to for anything in the category of ‘Useless Information’. She constantly entertains me with tidbits of ‘you-never-know-when-you’re-gonna-need-to-know-this’ stuff. And if I'm questioned about the gimble cam socket on the nose closal removal station, Jeremy is my guy...that's some incinerator jargon that makes me laugh everytime I hear it! God forbid a question come up about politics or history or law because nothing will put me to sleep faster! But Patrick could go for hours on any of these subjects. I’ve never known anyone to get so excited about a Primary! He immerses himself in politics. Nor have I ever known anyone to pick up a book on the history of the Taliban, and how it came to be, for a little light reading. As for law…I’m pretty sure he just likes to argue. He uses a passion for law as an excuse to do so. Any questions regarding medical issues or the medical field in general would have to be deferred to my mom. She spent many years in the medical field. She’s familiar with the jargon. She’s aware of what it all means. Yea, she’s definitely my medical question guru! Lastly, any questions that involve the following will have me phoning home knowing my husband, Brent, can help me out: Weather – With all the equipment he’s got to predict and report the weather, I trust him more than the National Weather Service. Electronics – One look at our audio/visual setup in the living room will explain. Audio/Video; In/Out; Red, Yellow, White…it’s all Greek to me! Just show me how to use the remote…don’t expect me to fix it if something comes unplugged. Sports – He’s an avid fan of just about any sport. This drives me insane and seems like such a waste of time to me…but if there happens to be a million dollars on the line, I guess I’ll be grateful, huh? Gardening – I hate gardening. I will most likely kill anything that I’m made botanical caregiver over. He orders plants online. He plants things. He knows plants, their history, their uses, etc. If knowing the climate region where palm trees grow best would win me the money, I know he’d know the answer! My lifelines….what would I do without you?

Ahhhh....#9!

I must thank my 'lunch bunch' for turning me on to Sushi. How did I exist 25+ years without it? They always told me as I dined with them - they having raw fish, etc. and I chomping on my teriyaki chicken and brown rice - that it would be something you start to crave. I honestly thought the three of them were nuts! I mean, seriously...raw fish! Ahhhhh! WTF? I'm officially addicted. I'm not exactly sure when it all happened...but it did. A new sushi joint opened up right by the office, meaning we didn't have to travel the 20 minutes to get to Fuji. Yep, Ono Grill in Anniston has become our second home. The waitress informed us today that when we pull in the parking lot the staff says, "The sushi people are here!" That's pretty cool! For the four of us (and sometimes an extra) it's often the same meal each time. I won't go into details on everyone's, but for me...it's the #9! Half Chicken Katsu roll, Half Volcano roll and California roll. Sweet Jesus, there's nothing like it! The Chicken Katsu is so yummy with its brown sugar (not clumped) and sweet sauce! The volcano roll is my favorite, though. It's warm and wonderful as it hits the palatte...oh so satisfying! Top it off with a challenge of who will eat their 'wasabi wad' whole and you've survived (hopefully) lunch with us! The only thing that could make it better would be to accompany it with an adult beverage of your choice...but on lunch breaks, we tend to refrain. So, for all you sushi naysayers, I implore you to give it a shot! Pretty soon, you'll be singing a different 'fishy' tune!

Follow your nose, right?

Okay...there's something wrong with me. My mission today is to discover if I'm all by my lonesome with this bizarre...."disorder", we'll call it. I want to eat my laundry detergent. I know that sounds like the most asinine statement ever on Earth, but I do. I haven’t. No panicking necessary. But, that doesn’t mean I haven’t wanted to. When I was pregnant with my first child, I had this symptom – no I’m not pregnant. I remember doing the laundry and as I scooped the detergent – always powder, no liquid for me – and it passed my nasal passages on its way to the water flowing into the washer, I was compelled to “taste” it. I can’t believe I’m divulging this information! I love my new detergent…Arm & Hammer – Cool Breeze scent! It is almost damaging how much I want to eat it straight from the box. Sigh… The strange thing is that I think it has to do with the consistency of the detergent more than anything else. The scent only amplifies the compulsion. I say that because, I will eat other things – possibly strange but always food – that have the same consistency. Sugar – I will purposefully allow moisture to get to my sugar so that it forms clumps. That way, I can pick the clumps out and eat them. Same goes for salt…not as much as sugar, but I’ve done it. Brown sugar is good too. I’ll buy the cheap store brand brown sugar because I know it will have clumps. (Domino never does.) What is this? I’ve read up some on a few topics on the internet and there is something called Pica. Pica is a defined as an appetite for non-nutritive substances or an abnormal appetite for food ingredients (flour, sugar, starch, etc.) It leans toward a cause of iron-deficiency, possibly. Who knows!? I just know it’s probably the weirdest idiosyncrasy I have to offer and I’m curious to know who else might be craving their Arm & Hammer Cool Breeze laundry detergent!!

We don't need your help, ladies!

I'll just get it out there...I don't like women in sports. Before you get in a wad, let me explain. I don't like the female color analysts...the sideline reporters. They have been put on the field to draw ratings. That's all. Most of them weren't chosen for their astute knowledge of the game. More likely they were chosen based on their backside...if you catch my drift. Take a peek at this story on Kelly Tilghman. Don't recognize her name? Well, she's a graduate of Duke and happens to have swung a golf club in her life. I, on the other hand, have never had the pleasure of teeing off. But, I'm also not on the Golf Channel spouting off at the mouth. For those that haven't already heard or read the link supplied above, she was broadcasting at the Mercedes-Benz Championship (The PGA's inaugural event of the season) and made the statement that young players "should lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley." I feel certain that I don't need to go into any detail on why this is so ridiculous! I'm pretty sure, and I haven't spoken to the moronic woman - I'm just assuming, that she's feels like a total idiot. I'm sure she's apologized both publicly and to Tiger himself. I'm sure she'll regret saying it. But why, or better yet, HOW do we let this happen? If I can back up to the statement I made earlier that 'I don't like female sideline reporters' I'd like to add something: Perhaps I just haven't seen one that I can respect. I haven't encountered one that has made me believe her knowledge of the game is in line with what she's saying. I just haven't found one that made me feel like she was down there for the love of the game. Don't get me wrong...I'd love nothing more than to be sandwiched between Tony Romo and Peyton Manning. But, I feel certain my discussion would be ill-fated if I tried to talk X's and O's with 'em! If they wanted to talk about how they organize their locker after each game or their pre-game rituals...that would interest me and I could definately keep up. But, the minute they segwayed into 'I-right formations, the shotgun or roughing the passer' you'd find me quiet as a mouse. I'm not saying all the ladies that are out there trying to change the face of sports are crap. Not at all. But, this little philly has not helped the cause, that's for sure. I beg of you...please think before you open that hole in your head you sometimes use for the consumption of food! You just may end up eating what you spew! I should probably add that I'm not an avid sports watcher. If the Auburn Tigers are playing, I'm tuned in. Other than that, I'd rather be watching paint dry/grass grow/wind blow...you get the idea. So, take this information for what it's worth. Perhaps it was my deep Southern upbringing that makes me feel this way. I'm not sexist in the least...I'm just partial to getting information (be it about a football game, chess match or politics) from someone that knows what the hell they're talking about! Is that so wrong?

Let's Go Junkin'!

I have come to acquire a bit of a taste for antique items. Perhaps antique isn’t the correct word…maybe I should just say ‘old stuff’. I wouldn’t want to offend a true antique collector. It all began at my grandmother’s yard sale. She’s had these before and most of the time I just haul my slightly used items (washed, ironed, labeled and priced) to her house and collect my earnings when the weekend is over. This particular yard sale found me rummaging through everyone else’s junk. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, right? I made my way over to the clothing section to browse…okay, my mission was to organize the clothes, not actually walk away with anything. I digress…I was up to my elbows in sweaters that met the Bedazzler when I stumbled upon an apron.

Now, I’m no chef. I enjoy cooking and love to hear my kids say, “Mommy, you’re the best cooker!” So, I have an apron. But this one…oh this one! I knew the minute I laid eyes on it that it was special. After quizzing my grandmother on what senile moment took over and made her put it in the yard sale she handed it over without question. After much discussion between my grandmother and her sister it was determined that my great-great grandmother made the apron. I was dumbfounded even further that the dang thing could have slipped through my grasp. I, of course, never knew my great-great grandmother. I was holding a piece of history in my hands. (I’m not exactly a history buff either – so it was even cooler that I was so intrigued by this!) I couldn’t help but imagine how many meals had been prepared in this dainty garment. How many trinkets or pieces of candy made their way into the pockets that were stitched onto the front? The baby blue gingham fabric is light and airy. The stitching is very simple and obviously took great care to create. (For a person who can’t sew a button on, that’s amazing!)

After the apron, I found myself longing for another piece. Then another and another. I took a trip to Callaway Gardens in Georgia. It was a spa trip. Along the way, I paid a visit to Warm Springs, Georgia and came across this little beauty. I can't tell you anything about this piece other than the fact that it's old. I can remember one just like it at my great grandmothers...but that's about it! I love it!

My most recent addition to the ‘antique collection’ is another apron. I came across this one at my mom’s house. She found it folded up with a bunch of different material she received from my great grandmother. Low and behold, another of my great-great grandmother’s creations! Could I be so lucky? Turns out that way, huh?

As I said before, I’m not sure if antique is the right word because I’m not sure what qualifies an item to be an antique. But, these items are all in my possession and I put them all to use. I use my aprons often and I keep my sweet tea in that pitcher in my fridge. They may be antique, but I find something refreshing and very ‘linking the present to the past’ about using the items. Maybe I feel like I’m channeling this woman that I never knew! Either way, it’s become a new-found hobby of mine and I can’t wait to find my next piece! Let’s go junkin’!

Get your popcorn ready...it's movie time!

I love the movies! If I had a weekend where I didn’t have to do a damn thing (and I couldn't spend money at the spa) I would lay in bed all day long watching movies...back to back to back! I'm quick to throw you a line from a favorite...often just to test you! I wouldn't necessarily say I'm partial to any particular genre of film, but the romantic comedies are probably up there pretty high! I'm partial to these, most likely, because of the desperate longing for 'Mr. Right' as I was growing up. Go ahead...get your laughs in now. I don't want you passing out from the hysteria when I unload that Cocktail happens to be one of my favorite romantic comedies! I mean, what female hasn't longed for their very own Brian Flanagan - tortured yet charismatic; driven yet held back by his own internal demons. All right maybe my mission growing up was to help them or fix them…ha! If I’d known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have so many favorite romantic comedies, I assure you! You may be wondering what made me want to write this and exactly what it is I'm intending to enlighten you with....well, here you go: I was watching Legends of the Fall - one of my all time favorites - and I asked myself..."Does anyone of the male species look better on horseback than Brad Pitt?" I’m all about finding the truth…so my quest began. ;) Brad Pitt (strange as he probably is in real life) is most breathtaking atop a thoroughbred! I don’t even have to get into the fact that he’s aching, tormented and unreachable at times during the film…all of which only add to the mysterious nature that will drive a woman mad, literally. **For the readers of the male persuasion, I hope you take from this entry a little more about what (most) women want. A man is most desirable when he’s determined. For instance, he’s working on a task/chore/hobby/work and he’s driven to see it through to completion. This is hot. Especially if he encounters a “roadblock” and must work through it. I’d love to elaborate on why…but, honestly, it’s a little muddy to me. A man is also alluring when he’s vulnerable. Now, don’t misconstrue this. Too vulnerable can make you needy…which should be noted as NOT HOT for future reference. But, a degree of vulnerability is welcomed. It proves you have feelings. Speaking of feelings…something else that makes you most fascinating is the desire to learn more about yourself. Too often men can get caught in a rut and become complacent with who they are and their ‘mate’. Don’t do this! Always strive to take something away from situations. Try not to see everything black and white – even though you might be programmed that way – because words are hard to find to describe the feelings you can invoke by admitting that you learned something new about yourself. It professes self-awareness and the desire to better your self.** My quest carried me through a spectrum of films looking for the crème de la crème of romantic lead roles among men in movies – horseback or not. They are as follows (in no particular order and may or may not be in the saddle): Justin Matisse played by the stunningly Southern, Harry Connick, Jr. in Hope Floats. Tripp played by the unquestionably ravishing Matthew McConaughey in Failure to Launch. Benjamin Barry also played by Matthew McConaughey in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Steve Edison again played by Mr. Hottie McConaughey in The Wedding Planner. (complete with the aforementioned horseback scene!) Johnny Castle played by the smoldering Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. Robbie Hart played by the side-splitting Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer. Dusty Chandler played by the timeless Mr. George Strait in Pure Country. Roy McAvoy played by Kevin Costner in Tin Cup. Ronny Miller played by the exquisite Patrick Dempsey in Can’t Buy Me Love. Drew Baylor played by the positively adorable Orlando Bloom in Elizabethtown. Nick Marshall played by the handsome Mel Gibson in What Women Want. Lloyd Dobler played by the atypical hottie John Cusack in Say Anything. Jack Taylor played by the captivating George Clooney in One Fine Day. Nick Mercer played by the enchanting Dermot Mulroney in The Wedding Date. Aragorn and Legolas played by the enchanting Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom (respectively) in The Lord of the Rings: The Trilogy. It goes without saying these two are most assuredly Brad's stiffest competition in the horesback category. All of these candidates qualify, in my book, for romantic comedy role (by someone of the male persuasion) of the century! I’m sure there are some I’m leaving out and I’m sure there are some I haven’t thought of. I’m curious about the ones I may not have seen…I’ll make a weekend of it if I have to. I’m willing to do what it takes to uncover the truth. So, send me your favorites! (Guys…that means you too!) My DVD player is ready and waiting! Guys...take your cues from the one's I've mentioned here. I know they're only actors playing a role, but they all have something women want - romance. We want to be swept off our feet. Again, I'm not speaking for all the ladies...I'm sure there are some out there that don't agree. But, ultimately, we want to feel adored. Whether it's up close or from across the room. We want to feel like we're at the forefront of your mind...even if we aren't. There's something to be said for romance....see you at the movies!

2008 - A year for new stuff!

With the entrance of 2008 I've decided to start my own blog. Seperate from MySpace, in addition to BamaMoms. If you know me well, you know I love to talk. I have the gift of gab. I have other gifts as well...but that would probably be my loudest! Ha! So, join me here when you feel the urge....I probably won't be uncovering life altering information, but I guarantee it will add humor to your life...and maybe a little pinache!